'improper use' - Effect of tv on teenagers

i hope someone take time and revise my article for me. i would really appreciate it.
many people believe watching TV negatively affect teenagers and children but i am totally against this idea. here are my reason there are thousand channel and programs on TV that in addition that they don't affect children negatively they even have positive effects on children, also some believe that watching fill most of the children leisure times but in my opinion there are solution for it.

in today world, due to technology advancement many new devices appeared in human life such as cellphone, TV, internet and so on. some people are worried about these new technologies and their affect on their lifestyle and their family while others are using them everyday happily.

first of all many people look at TV as a whole and its program with negativity. i agree there are channel and programs that are either useless or they teach children inappropriate things such as abusive words, how to steal, how to cheat on the exams and so on, but in my opinion there are tons of channel and programs which teach useful lesson to children. For example i have seen a program on TV that was about children bad and annoying habits. in this program there was woman named Jane. her job was visiting families who have problems with their kid and their annoying habit and suggesting a solution for those problems. for example in one of those programs there was boy who like to eat only butter and bread every meal and he doesn't like to eat vegetables and meat, fish or milk which were necessary for his body, Jane came up with a solution and both the boy and his family were happy at the end. from this programs children can see for themselves what kind of habits and behaviors are considered bad and inappropriate and also adults who have kids can find out what to do in case they had the same kind of problems with their children. in case of programs that affect children negatively families can prevent their children to see those channel and programs.

second of all some people argue that their children dedicate a lot of their free time to watch TV. firstly i want to mention that are other devices that children are also addicted to them. for example playing computer games and chatting using computer or cellphone are very common in these days. should we also look at these devices with negativity? or we should use them properly?.

in all of the cases families should prevent their children from playing computer games or watching TV for long period of time.

in conclusion there are many devices around us that improper use of them bring negative consequences to our life and our society and computer and TV are not an exception.

Hey neo1989 I think I can be of some help... First things first, go through and begin capitalizing each letter of the first word in each sentence. Then, you want to focus on your singular/plural words, such as in your first sentence. I feel it would benefit to write out something such as; Many individuals feel strongly about the potential negative effects television has on adolescents, I however, am not so convinced. (-This way your topic had a bit more backbone to it for starting off your argument.)

For your conclusion may I suggest something like; In conclusion, there are unlimited technological devices we are subjected to on a daily basis that can ultimately bring negative consequences with prolonged exposure. However, I feel that with correct utilization of age and maturity appropriate programs, an individual has potential to grow from proper exposure. (-This can help solidify your argument; your conclusion should restate your key points and provide closure of your argument)

Good luck! (:

(Although many people believe... I am totally against that idea. There are thousands of channels and programs on TV that don't affect children negatively, and even some that have positive effects, such as ________. In today's world, due to .... , people are worried about how these new technologies will affect their lifestyles, even though others use them happily.

I agree that there are some channels.... but would point out that there are also.... For example, ... People argue that children dedicate their... Should we hold these devices suspect as well? I would like to point out that too much of a good thing can become bad, and that families should prevent...

To say all devices are bad is blatantly false, but they can be used improperly...

constant stairing of Tv screen/ as well as emission of radiations/obesity because of sitting are few more drawbacks but if we are watching Tv regularly then it is advisable to skip some times watching constantly./ Select few programmes only based on age group. In order to maintain discipline parent should intervene

"in today world, due to technology advancement many new devices appeared in human life such as cellphone"
check out this statement it irks me. I think it may be like this," in todays world,many advance electronic devices are made for benefit of mankind whether in the field of communication or entertainment for example cellphone, TV, internet

thanks all of you
it was definitely helpful
:D