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Toefl essay "such as: improvement in their reading and writing skills, helping "



s011208 6 / 13  
Dec 17, 2009   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People who do not work because they have enough money are rarely happy.
Give specific examples and reasons to support your position.

Although some people say that they should get a lot of pressure to stimulate themselves to keep going in modern society, others say that when people earn enough money, they should quit their job and start to enjoy their own life. I disagree with the statement that people who do not work because they have enough money are rarely happy. My reasons are as follows.

By enjoying their rest life, people who own enough money can get happy. They can pursue a lot of things which were fascinated them. When they started to work, they must pay attention to it and spend less time on what they really like. They loosed a lot of chances to pursue their dream, because they must get more money in order to have a good live in this high tempo era, especially in urbane areas. If they have enough money to support their lives, they can quit their work and pursue what they really want. My grandfather, for example, did not have a lot of time to enjoy surfing, because he should afford family expends until my father started to get money and lower his burden. Thus, he takes me to go to beach and enjoys surfing almost all sunny days and gets a lot of fun.

Moreover, although it is necessary to get pressure to force people to do more things, it not means people who do not work will rarely happy. People can find a lot of friends who already rich to play together. Not only does it enrich their social life, but it makes them happy as well. For instance, my friends' mother, Jane, always find some friends to go shopping together. Sometimes they share their own daily experience with others and enjoy their lives. When they run into difficulties, such as how to teach their children or help them get great grade at school, they can think a lot of new ideas and solve those problems. Thus, they always laugh.

For the reasons above, rich people not equal to unhappy people. They can gain a lot fun if they find the correct ways to recharge themselves and get happy in their daily lives. Therefore, I disagree that people who do not work because they have enough money are rarely happy.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 20, 2009   #2
For the reasons above, rich people not equal to unhappy people.----> in this sentence, you should write that being rich does not equal being happy. People who are rich are not necessarily happy.

It is a mistake to write, "Rich people not..." it needs a verb. Rich people are not always happy people.


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