There's an increasing number of people who choose to delay childbirth due to several reasons

Having children later in life

Task 2: In some countries, men and women are having children late in life. What are the reasons for this development? Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

In this day and age, there's an increasing number of people who choose to delay childbirth due to several reasons. This trend would exert both positive and negative effects on families as well as society.

The driving force behind this trend is changing employment patterns. In the past, men used to be the breadwinner in almost every family but that isn't the case for today's society. A large majority of women now choose to pursue education and enter the workforce and undertake imperative positions. This has led to the fact that they cannot maintain a work-life balance and therefore prioritize career over marriage. Another factor is that the cost of bringing up a child including food, clothes, and education is becoming increasingly expensive, causing people's hesitation to have a baby.

Delaying childbirth could be beneficial to families. Since parents give birth to their children at an older age, they would be more experienced and financially stable to bring up and educate their offsprings. Hence, children could obtain a better family background and education, enabling them to become fully developed. In addition, parents would also reap benefits from this trend as their first working years are not interrupted by childcare tasks. However, when aged couples have a baby, the mother would suffer from various health problems such as diabetes and backache and the baby would run a higher risk of Down syndrome. Moreover, society would have to undergo the problem of an aging population due to the low rate of fertility, which triggers a lack of labor.

In conclusion, there are causes such as career and financial concerns that drive people's decisions to have children later in life. This tendency would impact families and society in both advantageous and disadvantageous way.

I think this sentence will be better if it is reformed like this: ... to pursue education and as well as enter ...

Hi, here are my suggestions:
- You didn't answer the question "Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?". I think you need to state which side is better (or equally important). This certainly affects your score

- You shouldn't use contraction (there's an increasing number of people...) in formal essays.
Overall, it is a very good and well-presented essay ^^!

@jackjixam13
omg, thank you. I forgot the contraction, it's a silly mistake.

The 2nd question was, do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? your essay responds only to the reasons aspect. You did not properly discuss the single opinion point of view based on the A/D discussion format. This was supposed to be comparative essay of 5 paragraphs covering:

- Paraphrase + Reasons + Opinion outline
- Reason1
- Reason 2
- Response to A/D question
- Concluding summary

You can only do a comparative reasoning discussion for the reasons as to the direct response to the A/D question, you cannot give an equal importance discussion because the choice is either it is an advantage or a disadvantage. You were not asked to justify why the reasons are both an advantage and disadvantage. You need to make a decision, pick a side and support it. Otherwise, your essay will be scored down for not having a clear point of view. Your current essay doesn't really have a solid justifiable side presented here, since you presented an equal opportunity discussion, which was not the point of the essay question. Your essay will not get a passing score because you committed a few errors in your presentation

- You did not support a clear opinion / side for the discussion (advantage or disadvantage)
- The essay remained unclear and under developed as you did present a response to the first question, but failed to clearly and properly discuss the second

- The lack of clear opinion means you did not actually discuss the "outweigh" section of the prompt

@Holt
thank you, i'll correct it.