Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


Increasing weight, decreasing health; 'can't find absolutely healthy person'



Shokhusrav 10 / 26  
Apr 6, 2014   #1
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness is decreasing
What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?


Today it seems to be impossible to meet a person who is absolutely healthy, everyone has certain diseases, and obesity is the one which most people suffer from. Therefore, it has already become normal for people to have an increased body weight. In this essay, I will outline causes of obesity and try to find measures to prevent such kind of illness

The first thing which decreases health status and increases the risk of obesity is a fixed mode of life in many modern cities such as New York, London and Moscow. Most people there have a job which requires a sedentary activity and working with a computer. These things have a direct impact on people's health and weight levels. However, certain measures can be taken to reduce this kind of impact. For example, governments and heads of companies should decrease the stress which is common in many jobs by limiting working day and providing free tickets to gyms, fitness centers and health resorts. This approach can not only help people to become healthy but make them more competent workers.

The second thing is a fast food nutrition which is a widespread cause of obesity and decreased level of fitness. There are many fast food cafes such as McDonald's and KFC's which are very popular facilities. People are becoming lazier to cook meals at home, that's why they prefer the easiest way of food intake. Thus, the healthy diet and lifestyle should be popularized among people.

In summary, people should pay much more attention to the mode of life they have and increase their interests on health as the health is the most important thing they have.

teefa 2 / 2  
Apr 6, 2014   #2
I think this part need to be modified,
I will outline causes (the causes) of obesity
OP Shokhusrav 10 / 26  
Apr 6, 2014   #3
Are there any mistakes?
Please score my essay if possible :)
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Apr 6, 2014   #4
Today it seems to be impossible to meet an absolutely healthy person who is absolutely healthy , (1)( stop here) everyone has certain serious diseases, and obesity is the one which most people suffer from.One example is obesity

Comments:
1. This sentence is too long. It is always hard for some readers to understand the long sentence. I suggest you to divide this sentence.

Therefore,(1)it has already become normal for people to have an increased body weight . (2)In this essay,Hence, I will outline causes of obesity and try to find measures to prevent such kind of illness

Comments:
1. This shows complexity. Can I say this: Obesity is continue to be one of the world's most costly and serious conditions in the medical record.

2. This phrase adds no value. Better omit.


Home / Writing Feedback / Increasing weight, decreasing health; 'can't find absolutely healthy person'
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳