Unanswered [14] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


Toefl ; Independence from parents


sanzhar 2 / 9  
Dec 3, 2013   #1
In the following essay I would like to express my opinion in regard to the thesis "It is better to be independent from the parents as soon as possible" .I think this way because people who gain independence early develop a lot of useful skill , they are more responsible and they are free to do anything.

To begin with, independent adults live separately from their parents , so that they have to know how to cook, clean up apartment and how to earn money .These skills are very vital to survive alone or with partner ,because person cannot live without dwelling , without money and without something to eat .Also, earning money explains how money is hard to find, because no one will give money , so you must earn it yourself.

Addingly, adults tend to be more responsible if they live without parents because parents usually take responsibility and do not allow to make very important decisions. To illustrate that , mature people can marry and consequently have their own children and have private apartments. Marriage teaches adults how to behave with their husband or wives and how to upbring children.This example shows how living separately from parents is very crucial in order to be responsible.

And lastly , adults who are independent have really a lot of freedom to anything you want .This is because there are no parents who control everywhere all your moves, every your decision and says to do their own opinion. Therefore, there are a lot of good thing to do your own without parents . To show that, adults can make party in their apartments and travel alone or with partner anywhere. So, as a result freedom make you very happy.

Ultimately , living separately and without parents is a very useful thing . Adults become more mature because they learn how to earn money , learn responsibility and gain total freedom of their parents.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Dec 3, 2013   #2
First, it is better if you post the prompt together with your essay so that we can understand what it really requires. I guess this is an agree/disagree topic :)

In the following essay I would like to express my opinion in regard to the thesis "It is better to be independent from the parents as soon as possible" .I think this way because people who gain independence early develop a lot of useful skill , they are more responsible and they are free to do anything.

This introduction is not in line with the preferred structure that can help you earn marks.


Home / Writing Feedback / Toefl ; Independence from parents
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳