TOEFL independent writing: How does the increasing availability of information influence life?

huge information data and its influence on human

The widespread use of the internet has given people access to information on a level never experienced before. How does this increase in the availability of information influence life in today's world?

It is an indisputable fact that, nowadays, Internet has a dramatic impact on human's life because of the free flow of information. This great influence can be seen in three main aspects demonstrated in the following essay.

The first facet is associated with education. The access to abundant learning resources and global information from the Internet enables children in rural areas to receive an education chance they deserve. In the past two decades, the literacy rate in China has a significant rise by over ten percent. One particularly good example is that more and more children lived in a small village in Sichuan have been literate through the Internet. This outcome should be attributed to establishing the infrastructure of Internet in remote areas.

The other aspect is conservation of paper resource. Being replaced by Internet, books are not the most important method of transmitting information, which has considerably decreased the demand of paper and greatly prevented forest from deforestation. Furthermore, it also saves a great deal of time by clicking on a button instead of searching library shelves.

Despite these advantages above, the drawback of the free flow of information is that people have difficulty to tell its reliability in this information flooding generation. For instance, it is said that the U.S. election in 2016 was manipulated by Russia through inserting fake advertisement into Facebook and hacking American's identity. It is the most serious problem I have ever seen that the untruthful information on the Internet have the power of controlling the election of a country.

In conclusion, although the flow of information has greatly benefited to human's life by increasing the literacy rate and conserving paper, it is undeniable that the social media should be properly regulated to avoid the case above happen again

... in the following essay paragraphs.

... enables children in rural areas to ... they deserve. (No represent for the educational tasks of the internet). In the past two ... ten percent. (No match with statement).

... have been literate through the Internet (the internet is only tool, cannot help directly).
(in this paragraph, the cohesion among sentences are very loose).

The other aspect is(missing word)conservation of ...

Li, your essay was going pretty well until you decided to discuss the US elections. Don't delve on discussing unproven and debatable facts as actual information in an essay. Stay neutral at all times. In case you missed it, your elections discussion forced a prompt deviation on your part. If you compare the topic for discussion and the discussion instructions you were provided, you went totally rogue with your concluding statement. This means that your essay was no longer on track with the discussion and as such, would have lost valuable points in the final scoring. A word of caution, please avoid making factual references to things such as percentages and placed in these sorts of essays. If it is not public knowledge and will require you to do research, don't even try to include it. Research is the one thing you will not have the time, nor the access to at the testing center. It is important that your discussions be based purely on commonly known information so that you can focus on proving your ability to write in English rather than your ability to research in English. The research part does not factor in the scoring and could prevent you from gaining additional time for the editing and finalization of your essay prior to submission.