Essay about the influence of advertising on small children

dangerous advertisement

In today's fast-developed world, advertising has become one of the most effective methods to promote a new products.However some companies tend to advertise related to small children and some people think that it's unethical. From my point of view, I totally agree with the statement due to negative effects on the children's mental and physical health.

First of all, a lot of items need children customer. They will be bankrupted because of them. For instance, chocolate and fast food industries depend greatly on teenager and teen because they sometimes don't have enough time to eat full breakfast in the morning,..Therefore, fast food is a good choice.

Secondly,while companies gain profit, children have to bear the losses. Why? Because they are too young to distinguish advertising whether it's good or bad. They just see an advertisement that has a funny poster suitable for their age, then they will be convinced that they really need to buy and ask for money from their parents. This only costs you more money.

Lastly, probably the most sophisticated marketing for children is the exchange forward they can have after doing something. However, the gifts are often old-fashioned or expired. Children can turn into a sale promoters.

In conclusion, the acts of advertising can be beneficial in some aspects but it still has some disadvantages that should correct.Parent also should take responsibility in taking care of children from dangerous advertisement

Unfortunately, you did not write enough words for this essay for the examiner to consider giving you a passing score. The reason you will have a hard time achieving the 5 band score is because you under wrote in the essay. You only have 234 words out of 250 words written. The percentage of point deductions for your essay in terms of TA considerations will be marked. It can prevent the essay from achieving a passing score.

Aside from the point deductions for the missing words, you will also receive points deductions for the LR, GRA, plus C&C scoring sections. Always try to write at least 250 words to avoid being penalized for the word count. If you can avoid a word count penalty, you will have a better chance of achieving a passing score. Just make sure that your essay responds properly to the prompt requirement.

By the way, I cannot assess your essay for prompt responsiveness because you did not provide the complete, original prompt for your response essay. I really need you to provide that next time so that I can give you a full review for your work. In the meantime, I will do what I can.

Spelling:
Always remember to separate your word presentations with the space bar. The system detects word form errors as incorrect spelling. That will affect your LR score, even in a manual scoring method.

Do not use ellipses (...) in an academic essay. It creates a casual presentation in what should be an academic presentation.

Grammar:
No need for the connecting word "a" when a word is presented in plural form. The word "a" connotes a singular form. - ...a new products - ... new products...

Use a comma after an introductory word : However, some companies...
Singular - Plural word usage error: Children can turn into a sales promoter - ... can turn into sales promoters.

These are but a few of the errors that I found in your essay. There are other errors existing but I believe these are the most important errors in your essay that need to be addressed.