TOEFL essay about influential people in the world

TOEFL essay about influential people in the world
Please correct my mistakes
The most important person
There are lots of leaders in the world, the most important of whom is, Ataturk. He founded the Republic of Turkey. According to Times newspaper Ataturk is one of a hundread most monumental people. To better understand why Ataturk is the most significant person, we need to go into more depth about his achivements.

To begin with,the most important reason is that he gave some rights to woman for the first time in the world. To give an example, until Turkey was founded, it was controled by an Emporer. In other words, Turkey was controlled according to religious laws. Therefore, according to these laws, women were not important. Woman`s work was only to take care of their house and babies. Ataturk gave woman equal rights. For example, if women want to work , she can work. The most important right for women is that they can be elected and they can vote for whoever they want. In other words, Turkish women earned independence and freedom. Ataturk is the most influential leader owing to his work in gender equality.

Secondly, he helped develop Turkey. In Turkey, we used to write with the Arabic alfabet. Due to the fact that it was hard to learn, the education percantage was very low. He changed the alphabet so that we write in the Latin alphabet which led every field to develop. As a result of the Latin Alphabet being easy, we have a lot of engineers, doctors and so on. Ataturk is the most important person due to the fact that he is open minded.

Thirdly, he is important to Turkey because his goal is a peaceful world. He made a contrubition to world peace by giving a speech about this issue. Needless to say, if we want to live in a peaceful world, someone must lead people to live in peace.

All in all, Ataturk is one of the most influential people on the earth because of equality, peacefullness and open mindedness. His target is "the peace in the world, the peace in the country". If he did not found Turkey , humanity would not live in peace and women would be second class people in the world.

To begin with,the most important reason is that he gave some rights to women for...

Use a spell checker. I see spelling errors, like this one:
...contribution

You are doing very well! Some of it is unclear, but it is not bad. You write that women would be second class citizens all over the world if he had not empowered them, but that cannot be entirely true, because women's empowerment has been going on all over the world. So, I think some of the ways you express meaning could be clearer.

For example:
There are lots of leaders in the world, the most important of whom is, Ataturk. ---- is he really the most important, or is he "among the most important." I think you mean to use among.

:-)