Information on coffee production in Brazil, Colombia, Indonesia, and Vietnam commencing 1990 to 2000

This is my analysis for an IELTS Writing Task 1. Please give it some comments (eg. logic, grammar, vocab, etc.). Thank you so much!

IELTS Task 1 - Coffee Production

The bar chart given provides information on coffee production in Brazil, Colombia, Indonesia, and Vietnam commencing from 1990 to 2000.

Over the timeframe, the amount of coffee produced by Colombia fell while the other countries experienced the opposite pattern of the production. In 2000, there were marked discrepancies in the statistics.

The coffee production of Colombia began at 0.6 million tonnes in 1990 and decreased significantly in the next ten years to under 0.4 million tonnes in the last year. This was noticeably inconsistent with the corresponding figure for that of Brazil which registered a dramatic rise from below 0.8 million tonnes to over 1.8 million tonnes, respectively. Besides, both Asian countries saw a rather marginal increase over the period.

Around 1.9 million tonnes of coffee products were manufactured by Brazil in 2010, accounting for the largest contribution to the market. This was followed by Indonesia, whose production mass was by 1.5 million tonnes lower. Otherwise, Vietnam and Colombia shared the bottom position of the graph in the year by producing equally around 0.3 million tonnes of the products.

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  Question
  

In the summary overview, you mentioned that there were marked discrepancies in the figures. Discrepancies means that there is a difference or inconsistency in the presentation. Yet, you did not indicate where these discrepancies lie. You should have included the source of the discrepancies in the overview to indicate that the topic will be further discussed in the later part of the essay. Your should have also indicated the measurement as being the million tonnes as a part of the summarized information.

It does not matter if the digits for Brazil were inconsistent with that of Colombia. These are two different countries whose coffee production has nothing to do with one another. So inconsistencies do not matter. An inconsistency only matters if it resulted in some questionable figures for Colombia. Di not use terms that could lead to a question about the figures, when there is none. This is not an investigative report so do not make it sound so mysterious and detrimental. Just state the facts as is. A task 1 report does not need to be creatively presented. It needs to be clearly presented.

@Holt
Hi Holt,

These are extremely brilliant to me. I didn't even notice the in-depth meaning of those terms. The followings are my revison. May you give your further comments on them?

1. For the overview:
"In 2010, there were marked differences in the statistics, especially between that of Brazil and the rest."

2. For the body 1:
"This was noticeably in contrast to the tendency observed in Brazil which registered a dramatic rise from below 0.8 million tonnes to over 1.8 million tonnes, respectively."

3. Further questions:
- Is it appropriate if I just use "differences"? Are there any other "cooler" synonyms? 😅
- Should I just use "This was noticeably opposite to..."?
- I've never been abroad so that I don't know much about the native writing style. However, including measurement units in overview is more likely redundancy to me as we will mention them again in the bodies anyway. Can you expand your opinion on this?

Thank you so much!

Ps. Sorry for my broken English, I'm trying to do better. 😓