The innovation of distant working and learning has become a more and more preferable tendency today

Working and Studying from home

In the era of information technology, the innovation of distant working and learning has become a more and more preferable tendency these days, namely because of its convenience and economical features. From my perspective, I hold the point of view that such trend is regarded as a human breakthrough in the days of industrialization, considering following culprits.

In the first place, online working and studying forum can save the budget for both the government and nation. They do not need to settle the infrastructure to operate such sites; therefore, more room might be taken for other purposes. In fact, a great deal of deposit is accounted for paying daily fees of electricity, water, paper,... in the process of operating a workplace. Distant doings are likely to break these limits without putting down the working quality.

In addition, working from home coincides with the fact that we are bound to accomplish a number of tasks at the same time. For instance, officers or kids can have brunch while working without fear of being disciplined. Also, flexibly completing multi tasks in one time contributes to assort time wisely, which means we are more relieved, in the mentality respect. Hence, in the long run, it is viewed at ease that the quality level of work may be boosted as well.

On the other hand, there emerges some controversy around the possibility of being unable to manage and supervise members. Nevertheless, I strongly believe that in the days of modernization, there are numerous applications that will help us in the distant management department, as long as directors and managers have a specific schedule. Teachers are also capable of keeping in touch with parents to be aware of their offsprings instead of going to school.

In a nutshell, I claim that the trend of working and studying from our own accommodation is a potential development in our modern days, but people need to have proper managing disciplines in order to maintain the most efficient outcome.

Your first sentence is a run-on sentence that should have been divided into 2 parts:
1. Restated topic sentence
2. Reason for the discussion topic

These should not have been mixed into one sentence as combining 2 ideas that discuss different themes make the presentation confusing or forgettable to the reader. Always separate the sentence content in your presentations. I am not sure what you are trying to state in the third sentence. You need to identify if this is a positive or negative development in the discussion. You should also make sure that you use the correct word representations throughout the essay. A culprit is a person who has committed an offense or a crime. Such serious vocabulary usage errors will definitely not help your LR score.

You have to properly format the discussion paragraph within only 275-290 words due to the 40 minute time limitation. One clearly discussed work from home reference in a completely developed paragraph, then another one showing the merits of study from home would have been a better presentation for this essay. As it is, you did not defend your topics with supporting reasons and opinions. You just presented discussion topics, leading to under developed paragraph presentations. You need to learn to express yourself in complete thought presentations. Not scattered references that do not collectively create a believable discussion presentation. Focus on clarity instead of word count.

"In a nutshell" is informal
Just " in conclusion" or " to conclude" is okay.jo need to be excessive on this part

Hi, I found some errors in your essay, and here are my suggestions.
-for both the government and nation, the word nation includes government, that's why you should write another noun. For instance, government and citizens/ inhabitants.

- In a nutshell is informal. You should write in conclusion/Taking everything into consideration/All things analyzed above.