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'Inspiration to my brother and sister' your short and long-term goals and priorities


rosy 6 / 2  
Jan 11, 2008   #1
Discuss your short and long-term goals. Are some of them related? Which are priorities?

Am I answering the questions correctly? Do I have any grammatical errors? Any suggestions on how to improve this essay?

Civil engineers aren't just in demand, they are a necessity. Many civil engineers were involved with Hurricane Katrina clean up, and others are helping to redesign cities and suburbs. Their knowledge and skills give birth to magnificent structures and are behind everyday constructions that the general public takes for granted, like the bridges we cross, the malls we shop at, and the houses we live in. After receiving a degree in Civil Engineering I hope to work on improving upon already built structures, creating new ones, and contributing innovative ideas and functions to the world around us. Another goal I want to achieve with my degree is to improve underdeveloped countries . My parents lived in poor conditions when they where young so I want to help people who are living like that today. I also plan to take care of my family and have a family of my own.

Along with this, I hope to be an inspiration to my younger brother and sister. I hope to show them that there are no obstacles big enough to prevent them from reaching their dreams. I hope I can inspire them to get an education so they can reach those dreams. My twin brother and I are hopefully going to help them pay for their college education when that time comes.

My short-term goal is to gradute from high school with high grades and to learn as much as I can so I can be prepared for college. Along with this, I am also working towards receiving scholarships so I can afford my education. If I achieve these short-term goals, I will be able to achive my long-term goals of working as a civil engineer and making a positive contribution to my family and to the world.
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Jan 12, 2008   #2
Greetings!

You've written a great essay! I have just a few editing suggestions:

like the bridges we cross, the malls where we shop, and the houses we live in.

My parents lived in poor conditions when they were young so I want to help people who are living like that today.

My twin brother and I hope to help them pay for their college education when that time comes.

Best of luck in your studies!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
yumbito15 - / 1  
Jan 12, 2009   #3
hey did you used this essay at the gate millenium scholars scholarship?
vj_justin 3 / 4  
Jan 15, 2009   #4
Nice essay with a nice touch of personal feelings...
It will be better if u can split and make the intro sentences about civil engineers a separate para.
Other than that it looks OK!!!


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