Instead of books, the Internet has become one of the main storage of knowledge

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the Internet.

Thanks to the advancement of technology, the Internet become one of the main storage of knowledge instead of books. From my perspective, the drawbacks of this trend are much greater than benefits.

On the bright side, storing knowledge on the Internet is advantageous. Firstly, the Internet allow people to access the knowledge more easily and effective. To meet the requirements of users, many platforms are created, which will be suitable with every groups of netizen. Therefore, the process of searching information is more efficient, time-saving and convenient with a couple of mouse clicks. Secondly, the Internet allow an unlimited space for knowledge storage. If storing knowledge in traditional way, we need to write it in books and then publicizes, which will consume a wide range of time to reach to readers. However, with the help of Internet storage, information is got access quickly by a portable electric device from everywhere around the world.

On the other hand, this trend also leads to a wide range of disadvantage. The first merit is inaccurate information. Nowadays, there are many websites such as Wikipedia, google translate, etc., give users access authority, which help them change and upload new information on the web. Although the main purpose is expanding the source of knowledge, some people tend to change information in negative ways in order to take profit from it. This will result on the problem of verification and reliability. The second merit is copyright infringement problem. Some value sources like music, film and book which require fee are in danger of leaking by subtle tricks of hackers. This action paves the way a new type of crime that booming significantly in recent decade-Internet crime. These illegal activities contribute to an unstable society.

In conclusion, although the Internet also bring some benefits to knowledge storage, the drawbacks of this trend is overweight. And I firmly believe that book still plays the most important role in storing information and knowledge.

The essay shall recieve a score reflective of a mostly incomplete discussion. Scores will be applied to the restatement + opinion, second reasoning paragraph, and conclusion summary. A score cannot be provided for the first reasoning paragraph because it is a counter opinion from the one provided in the thesis statement. The opinion essay clearly establishes its discussion profile, provide 2 supporting reasons for your opinion to gain full scoring considerations. Deliver a completely developed discussion via 2 cohesive discussion paragraphs. This essay failed to provide a fully supported discussion as it has a supporting paragraph for the opposing side. A discussion format used only for comparative discussion instructions.

The writer also has several grammar issues that affect the final score. His use of a conjunction at the start of certain sentences would be seen as improper seeing as no connected prior discussion has been presented yet. He must do better next time, making sure to review conjunction usage rules for future reference.

The first, third and final paragraph are okay, but the second one is not. Since you have expressed your opinion is that this trend is disadvantageous, the second paragraph is out of place. You have two options to choose : change your personal insight and conclusion into something like :"both has its pros and cons", otherwise, rewrite the second part and make it supportive for you opinion. Good luck.

Hi there, I notice some grammar errors here:
Internet becomes
than the benefits