Environmental problems
Topic: Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Nowadays, issues related to environment have grabbed many people's attentions. While some people believe there will be more efficient if countries integrate into solving this problem, others think that each country is more likely to find its own causes and apply appropriate measures. To my way of thinking, I realize that it will be better to solve environmental problems on both global and national scale.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that it will be necessary for all of countries to explore their own methods reducing negative effects on our surroundings for various reasons. Firstly, each country currently has been facing its own environmental issues which may be different from others. Therefore, it is probably more convenient if countries, in a way, search for their own causes thus implementing some policies to alleviate certain problems. To some extent, dealing with detrimental impacts on environment independently, more or less, helps governmental offices manage and control more easily. Hence, the government can also contribute to spread a plenty of campaigns about environmental protection.
On the other hand, there is mounting evidence that solving problems about environment on global scale possibly brings more merits for countries. In our fast-changing world, there are many developed nations launching programs to stimulate interest in keeping the environment from harm as leaders. As a consequence of those campaigns, others probably follow and learn more about numerous methods to apply for their own countries. Furthermore, co-operation among many countries around the world may trigger to internationally environmental workshops. Those seminars focusing on young generations have been giving them more chance to enhance their abilities and be aware of global concerns thus gradually creating a strong network of handling environmental problems.
In conclusion, based on what I have analyzed, I believe that countries all over the world should have a hand in preventing as well as protecting the environment.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15460 Chu, this is a 5 paragraph essay based on the 2 points of view plus personal opinion discussion requirement. That means, you need to present 3 bodies of paragraph / discussion reasons covering the following aspects:
1. Point of view 1 - make this the side you don't support, but base the presentation on the required public opinion
2. Point of view 2 - This should be the side you support, but the discussion should still be referred to from the public point of view.
3. Personal opinion - tie in your reason with a supporting statement for the previous paragraph
Why should the two points of view have a reference to the public statement in its ownership of the discussion? That is because the essay clearly indicates "Some people think..." which refers to the public opinion or general impression regarding a given topic. As such you should use more specific terms like "The parties that say the environmental problems..." and "While the other public sectors say..." so that you can lead into " that is why my opinion is that..." Making for a clear, concise, and coherent discussion per paragraph presentation.
The personal opinion is never included in the concluding statement. That is because it is a specific prompt discussion requirement. As such, it is to be given its own 3-5 sentence paragraph presentation just before the concluding summary. Your concluding summary should only restate the original discussion topic, summarize the reasons for the 2 points of view, offer your personal opinion in a new manner, then close the discussion. The format for the concluding summary is similar to:
1. Topic sentence
2. Opinion 1
3. Opinion 2
4. Personal opinion
5. Closing sentence
By fully utilizing the 5 paragraph requirement of this prompt and properly presenting your concluding summary, you will gain the chance to have the highest possible scoring considerations for each criteria. I can see your potential to score highly in a Task 2 essay. Your explanations, though not grammatically perfect, are clear and understandable. I was not confused nor frustrated while reading it.
As final note, since this is not a direct question essay, you cannot offer your personal opinion at the end of the paraphrase. That is because of the aforementioned full paragraph explanation requirement of the essay. You should have merely stated the discussion instructions instead as part of the discussion outline presentation and thesis statement in the final sentence of the paragraph.
I think some sentences in your essay are unclear so I suggest some amendments on them. For example:
1. "Those seminars focusing on young generations ..." -> Young generations of countries will have more chances to attend those seminars, so they can together contribute and share their new ideas as well as experiences of the environment protection and raise awareness about the same for their communities. Therefore, a network of handling environmental problems can be strongly created between countries.
2. ... a hand in preventing the degradation of the environment as well as protecting the environment.
