IELTS: Intended instruction hours in public institution

The charts shows information regarding hours of children aged 7 to 14 in institutional instruction in different countries in 2005

Overall, the total number of intended instruction hours in public institutions rose gradually in children development.

Turning to the details, the hours of institutional instruction came nearly 2000 in children aged 7 to 8 while children aged 9 to 11 intended double to approximately 5000-hour. However, children aged 12 to 14 experienced the highest rate in 8000 hours.

A more detailed look at the graph compared that the overall hours in numbers was not always similar. Standing in contrast with Finland adolescence, the Italian adolescence reached the top notch intention by more than 8000-hour while Finland teens intend to follow instructional hours as the least by 5400. The Netherlands teenagers coming second spent 8200 hour, then followed by eleven different countries that gained significance 7000-hour. However, while the nine countries obtained the proportion of intended instructions by 6000 to 7000-hour, the five others countries reckoned 6000-hour institutional instructions over a period of 2005.

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Woooww..., I don't know what to write if I have this task. Perhaps, I'll spend more than an hour and work much too hard for this. hahahahaha.


The charts shows (1) information (2) regarding (3) hours of children aged 7 to 14 in institutional instruction in different countries in 2005.
Comment:
1. Write the chart shows or the charts show. This needs subject-verb agreement
2. Write 'about'. The noun of 'information' should be followed by a preposition 'about', not 'regarding'. You might write: The chart shows information about...
3. Write 'instruction hours'. Have a look at the prompt given; Instruction hours is one phrase
Possible revision:
The chart compares twenty-nine countries in the terms of the overall number of intended instruction hours in public institutions for children aged 7 to 14 over a period of 2005.

Overall, the total number of intended instruction hours in public institutions rose gradually (1) in children development (2).
Comment:
1. Write 'a decrease and rise'.
2. Write 'children aged 7-14'.
This chart doesn't talk about children development which refers how children are capable of doing more complex activities as they get older.
Possible revision:
Overall, the countries selected showed the peaks and troughs of intended instruction hours

Hope this help you :)

IELTS Task 1 : Intended instruction hours in public institution (re-write - ITALY)

The chart compares the number of intended instruction hours on children aged 7 to 14 in 29 major countries during a particular period in 2005.

Overall, the trough of instruction hours recorded by children in Finland, while the Italian children aged 7-14 outperformed the figure remaining other 28 province during the course.

Italy broke a record as the nation having the highest number of instruction hours among its children with more than 8000 hours. It followed by Netherlands and Australia as the second as third highest of the overall nations. While stood at the eleventh from the overall number, children aged 7-8 in Ireland had a similar number of instruction hour as children in Italy. Likewise the figures in Slovenia and Norway as well as Korea and Hungary experienced approximately 3500 hours in the figures of children aged 9-11.

Obviously, the number of instruction hours in Turkey and Portugal showed the similarity in the overall aged group under review ended up 7000 in the overall amount of hours. It was slightly different with the trend of Mexico and Greece. While the amount was similar in the amount of hours, children aged 9-11 in Greece showing a rapid improvement accounted 4500 hours.

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