Unanswered [5]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


It is interesting to point out that the number of people buying books in Germany consistently rose



Gman97 2 / 2  
Nov 2, 2014   #1
The graph shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany,France,Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.If you could please give a mark 0/9.Thank you .

It can clearly be seen that the highest amount of money spent on books by people is in Germany (around 95 million) and the least by Italy (around 60 million).

The number of people buying books in Germany draw about 80 million dollars in 1995 , but there were fluctuations for the 10 year period from 1995-2005.However, the figures in France and Italy were approximately the same with a constant trend in 1995 to 1997.Both reached their peaks by the year of 2005 (around 50-75 million).

In Austria ,on the other hand , there was a moderate increase starting 1995 to 1999 then in 2005 a rapid grow to a high of 65 million.Also, in the amount of books sold Austria overtakes Italy in 2003.

It is interesting to point out that the number of people buying books in Germany consistently rose compared to the other countries.

nik18 3 / 3  
Nov 2, 2014   #2
First sentence is a little lengthy. Try condensing it to.
It can clearly be concluded that the population of Germany, with 95 million books, compared to Italy, with 60 million books, spends more money on average on reading material.

Also watch the verb tenses in your sentences because you switch from past to present for example your 2nd sentence should be drew not draw.

2nd to last paragraph the last sentence should be Also, the amount of books sold in Austria...

maybe add possible reasons why it rose in Germany around the time periods based on possible history events. Would add more depth and understanding to the reader.


Home / Writing Feedback / It is interesting to point out that the number of people buying books in Germany consistently rose
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳