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The number of people reading books by men and women


ryan31 65 / 96 15  
Oct 29, 2016   #1
The line graph gives information about the number of people reading book at Burnaby Public Library in four years from 2011 to 2014. overall, both men and women readers experienced an increase. A considerable rate was shown by male.

In 2011, the number of books read by men are roughly at 5000 and approximately at 3000 for women. This makes the gap between them narrowed. By contrast, in the year 2014, there was a considerable increase in the figure for men to 14000, whereas the total books read by women were less marked. Therefore, a widened gap between them was showed.

Turning to in 2012, men figure increased gradually to 3000 books. Then, it witnessed a sharp increase of 7000 books in 2013. In the last year, the number of books reads reach a peak at 14000. On the other side, books read by women experienced increased dramatically to 10000 during two years until 2013, however, this figure is decreasing in 2014, even same like in 2008. Thus, the number of books read by men can exceed the level of a female in the last year.



Beauty17 56 / 88 5  
Oct 29, 2016   #2
Halo ryan.. overall your essay was good, but i found a part that look odd in your sentence..

By contrast, in the year 2014, there was ...

My suggestion is :

In contrast, in 2004, there was a considerable increase in the figure for man to 14000, whereas the total books that were read by women witnessed less marked.

I hope it works!
Good Luck..
faizunaa17 49 / 91  
Oct 29, 2016   #3
Turning to inTurning to / Turning in 2012, men figure ...

Well, you attach to small image that make me can't see it. Please attach the bigger one, because actually i fell kind of strange when read your data, because it look inappropriate
septiadara29 48 / 67 9  
Oct 29, 2016   #4
Hello riandi! I will give you some opinions about your essay.

(1) ... number of people who are reading book at ...
(2) ... women readers experienced an increase in the number of books read.
(3) A considerable rate was shown by male. --> male readers
(4) In 2011, the number of books that read by men arewas roughly at 5000 and ...
(5) Turning to in 2012, men readers figure increased gradually ...
(6) ... number of books reads reached a peak at 14000.
(7) this figure is decreasingdecreased in 2014


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