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IELTS - International Tourism becomes more common than earlier.


Jessiewyq 2 / 5 1  
Apr 21, 2013   #1
International tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend while others do not. what are you opinions on this?

By the advent of globlization and increased tourisim promotion, many peple start to travel across world frequently. International vacation is no longer undertaken by affluent, but rising middle class also partaking in it. the growth of travel industry has brought great attention to people with differnt attitudes. Some contend it is very rewarding while others argue that it has adverse effects. From my personal perspective, i believe that the overall impact of globle tourism is positive.

To begin with , tourism is a valuable and rapidly growning sector which links to many other industries. For instance, when a country receives tourists all over the world, its hotel industry, transportation, local business all flourishes. it will certainly revive the revenue resource of a country as well as generating huge empolyment opportunities. More over, tourism also enhance the infrastructural development of its country in order to welcome the influx of travellers, which eventually benefits well the local facilities and people to achieve a accomplished life style.

In addition to this, tourism is an interface for culture exchange and play an essential role to present local culture to world. It also contributes a massive part to bridge the gap between different cultures. Thanks to Tourism, now people have more chance to enrich their knowledge and explore the colorful world outside their door.

Admittedly, there are some negetive aspects due to tourism, such as pollution and environmental degradation. Exotic places, like forest, mountain range and desert are considered fragile, but are fabulous landscapes to attract many adventurers, which lead to destructive consequence in term of its natural environment. therefore i trust government need to impose certain rules or regulations to control the situation.

By the way of conclusion, i once again to restate my postion that i hold a very positive view to international tourism despite of the challenges. Its benefits far outweigh its drawbacks from many aspects.

HI guys,
I would be very much appreciated if you can review my eassy with comments and corrections especially in terms of grammar, vacabulary etc...
I am looking forward to your feedback soon with many thanks.

Jessie Wang
mhss 18 / 53 18  
Apr 21, 2013   #2
Hi, make a note on these,

WITH the advent of globalization and increased promotionS IN TOURISM, many people start to travel across THE world frequently.

To begin with, tourism is a valuable and rapidly GROWING sector which links to many other industries

....in order to ATTRACT travellers SCATTERED ALL OVER THE WORLD .THIS HAS eventually IMPROVED the local facilities and THE people to achieve aN accomplished life style.

In addition, tourism is an interface for a culturAL exchange and IT playS an essential role IN presentING local culture to the REST OF THE world.

Admittedly, there are some negative aspects OF tourism

Exotic places, FOR INSTANCE, forestS, mountain rangeS and desertS WHICH are fabulous landscapes to attract many adventurers ARE ENDANGERED DUE TO destructive consequenceS AS A RESULT OF MASS TOURISM.

Negative aspect can be strengthen by,
breech of cultural identity
destruction of local businesses etc.

Try to summarize the essay in the "conclusion".

Good luck.
ningo 22 / 53 9  
Apr 21, 2013   #3
By the advent of globlization and increased tourisim promotion, many peple start to travel across world frequently

Through the advent of globalization and considerably development of tourism, people nowadays have more chances to travel everywhere in this world.

but rising middle class also partaking in it

but middle classes also take part in these traveling activities.
OP Jessiewyq 2 / 5 1  
Apr 21, 2013   #4
thanks lot :) Mhss
your correction to my writing is highly appreciated.
Jessie
CallMeRay 1 / 4 1  
Apr 22, 2013   #5
In the sentence " i once again to restate my postion that i hold a very positive view to international tourism despite of the challenges."

You should use a verb to complete a sentence. (replacing "to restate" to "restate")
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Apr 24, 2013   #6
By the advent of globlization and increased tourisim promotion, many peple start to travel across world frequently.

.... Good start :)

.theThe growth of travel industry has brought great attention to people with differntdifferent attitudes.

Very impressive introduction. :)

its hotel industry, transportation, local business all flourishes .

itIt will certainly revive the revenue resource of a country as well aswhile generating huge empolymentemployment opportunities.

More over, tourism also enhance the infrastructural development of itsa country in order to welcome the influx of travellers, which eventually benefits well the local facilities and people to achieve a accomplished life style.

You present very smart reasons in this paragraph. However, your examples seem to be a bit more general and not so specific. This task expects specific reasons and examples. So, pay attention to that fact.You can pick one of the things you said in this para and expand on it. For example, take the line;

For instance, when a country receives tourists all over the world, its hotel industry, transportation, local business all flourishes.

Then expand on this idea by giving a more specific example to show how these industries prosper.
Your writing is excellent. Pay a little attention to meet the requirements of this task
Good Luck!
OP Jessiewyq 2 / 5 1  
Apr 24, 2013   #7
Dear Dumi,
I appreciate so much for your review and correction in my essay.
It looks to me that your English level is quite high especially in the area of Writing.
I am currently preparing my IELTS EXAM and testing date is approaching soon in May so i am in panic. It is not because i don't know how to write but it always takes much longer time for me to think about the topic and organize an essay, therefore my time is always not enough...

Do you think it is possible if i can contact you directly by skype,QQ or whatever other means in case i may have chance to consult with you regarding to the writing?

I would be appreciative if you can help. :)
with many thanks
Jessie


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