I do not hold the perspective that international tourism promotes mutual understanding between different cultures, though it is indeed prevalent all over the world.
Have these three parts in your introduction;
Yes, Dumi shows you a very good approach for the intro.
A note from me:
A writer needs to keep in mind that the intro is often what a reader remembers best. Your intro should be the best part of your essay. If you could, state your own opinion in the introduction itself with a statement expressing your opinion very clearly. That helps you take the reader in your desired direction.
I think the third paragraph is stronger than the second, you don't seem clear what you want to say in the second paragraph. Remember to read the question as to what they are asking you for, opinion, discussion, analysis.
A closer look at the task:
To what extend do you agree or disagree?
For me, if you are offered such task, then you are asked to take a position, which is neither in total agreement nor total disagreement, but somewhere in between. Then, you should explain why.
If you peruse the IELTS band descriptors for "Task Responses" ielts.org/PDF/UOBDs_WritingT2.pdf then you'll see this: "addresses the task only partially", which means the question is not fully answered. Hence, you'd better spend lil time to analyze the question, so you could avoid giving a partial answer for the task.
You don't need to use lazy language expressions (eg 'etc', or and so forth') They are are used more in spoken language. Also, this indicates you don't care enough to finish a sentence properly.