Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 7

IELTS-International tourism should respect local cultures; 'Chinese restaurants'


ilovemilch 1 / -  
Apr 14, 2014   #1
International tourism has become the biggest industry in the world. Some people think it cause tension between people from different culture. Others thing it leads to understanding between countries. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

I do not hold the perspective that international tourism promotes mutual understanding between different cultures, though it is indeed prevalent all over the world.

Admittedly, traveling to foreign countries is beneficial for tourists to have a all-round command of a wide variety of foreign customs and habits. Not only gain the tourists new experience through visiting historical heritages, tasting special delicacy and communicating with local residents, but their outlooks are substantially enlarged and their ability of acceptance is markedly enhanced. Also, it is the tourists who travel around the world that bring their own national culture to their destinations and exert influence on the local residents there. For instance, in the United Stated an increasing number of Chinese restaurants, opened initially to cater for the taste of Chinese visitors, currently are popular among Americans who show preference to Mapo Tofu, Kongpao chicken etc.

Nevertheless, the tension and conflicts between people form different culture cannot be ignored. The difference and discrepancy can hardly be removed or united in terms of religion, race, ideology etc. To illustrate, a Muslim is likely to feel isolated and uncomfortable when visiting a country where the majority of local residents worship Judaism. Furthermore, a wealth of conflicts and unnecessary misunderstandings tend to be caused by the difference of mutual communication ways. Take sign language for instance. Though giving a thumb up mostly symbolizes a sincere compliment for other people, in Iran it is a typical offensive hand gesture. What can be more disturbing is the problems that international tourism brings about. Excessive exploitation of tourism resources may impair local natural environment and eco-system, resulting in impetuous resistance against international tourism as well as foreign culture.

Overall, without suggesting that international tourism be banned altogether, I would argue that it should be developed with the prerequisite of respecting local culture. Also, tourists who decide to visit a strange region are supposed to be psychologically prepared and be tolerant about foreign culture for their own sake.

andial 21 / 48 3  
Apr 14, 2014   #2
Hi,

It is much better than you directly state your answer of that question directly. Guide your reader's mind to understand your writing and make them impressed..


Admittedly, traveling to foreign countries is beneficial for tourists to have an all-round command of a wide variety of foreign customs and habits..
Nhasir Rahmatia 6 / 9  
Apr 14, 2014   #3
it cause

S+ver agreement

Others thing

Quantifier and noun marker...

Commonly, you have many mistakes in grammatical
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Apr 15, 2014   #4
Your body paras too look pretty lengthy. You need to pay more attention to your essay structure because it should help you complete the task on time while allowing you to score decently :D
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 15, 2014   #5
Admittedly, traveling to foreign countries is beneficial for tourists to have a all-round commandpeople to gain a well rounded knowledge aboutof a wide variety of foreign customs and habitscultures. Not only gain the tourists new experience throughcan enjoy visiting historical heritagesheritage sites, tasting special delicacyfood served from different cuisines and communicating with local residentsexperiencing the lifestyles of local people, but their outlooks are substantially enlarged and their ability of acceptance is markedly enhancedalso they can broaden their outlook largely by all these experiences.
Abdurasul 32 / 86 4  
Apr 15, 2014   #6
Nevertheless, the tension and conflicts between people formfrom different culture cannot be ignored.

.
Try to be more attentive! Such simple mistakes can have impact on your score!
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,197 461  
Apr 20, 2014   #7
I do not hold the perspective that international tourism promotes mutual understanding between different cultures, though it is indeed prevalent all over the world.

Have these three parts in your introduction;

Yes, Dumi shows you a very good approach for the intro.

A note from me:
A writer needs to keep in mind that the intro is often what a reader remembers best. Your intro should be the best part of your essay. If you could, state your own opinion in the introduction itself with a statement expressing your opinion very clearly. That helps you take the reader in your desired direction.

I think the third paragraph is stronger than the second, you don't seem clear what you want to say in the second paragraph. Remember to read the question as to what they are asking you for, opinion, discussion, analysis.

A closer look at the task:

To what extend do you agree or disagree?

For me, if you are offered such task, then you are asked to take a position, which is neither in total agreement nor total disagreement, but somewhere in between. Then, you should explain why.

If you peruse the IELTS band descriptors for "Task Responses" ielts.org/PDF/UOBDs_WritingT2.pdf then you'll see this: "addresses the task only partially", which means the question is not fully answered. Hence, you'd better spend lil time to analyze the question, so you could avoid giving a partial answer for the task.

etc.

You don't need to use lazy language expressions (eg 'etc', or and so forth') They are are used more in spoken language. Also, this indicates you don't care enough to finish a sentence properly.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS-International tourism should respect local cultures; 'Chinese restaurants'