'Internet has exceeded the newspapers demand' - IELTS writing

With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Things have been changed since from twentieth century. Internet plays a vital role in everyone's life. Now days it is hard to live a life without a net connection. On one side, the progress of web is going well while on the other side, the number of newsreaders is getting declined day by day. Personally, I inclined to agree with the views that web has surpasses the newspapers.

Internet is connecting almost all parts of the world. Information has been updated every time. Whether it is a heart breaking or sensational news, we can get in a web within a matter of second. So people prefer to use Internet instead of buying newspapers. As we all know the above features are not presented in newspapers, so a big drawback.

Technology has been improved more and makes the communication faster the ever. Due to the available of cheap smart phones and loads of free mobile applications, the information is retrieved quicker. Like sports, financial rates, top headlines, politics and etc. An important drawback is a newspaper does not give the information in detail but the web in turn illustrates it in detail.

Another reason is, while taking the environment in to consideration. It is time to think of the topic deforestation. The more the papers the more the trees are cut down. So it is better to save trees for our future generations to make them live happy.

In conclusion, I agree that Internet has exceeded the newspapers demand. Though it might be unpleasant to see the absence of newspapers in the future but in turn we will save some trees for our future lives.

I would suggest your essay is short. Your points can be elaborated more.

You have included 3 points :-
Information
Technology
Deforestation

All the points are good. But try to add more details. .

First, internet news readership has already surpassed that of newspapers. Second, you already mentioned the most important disadvantages of newspapers compared with the internet -- internet news is timely and covers far away places. You're basically repeating yourself in the sixth line. The "important drawback" you refer to in the seventh line is only marginally relevant. The last two lines should be discarded. You basically undermine yourself by putting forth such a silly reason why newspapers should be abandoned.

It should be more full, just add some details and their describtions

hey,Archu.
I think that your essay is too short,you can add more points,for instance,
you can talk about that computers can demonstrate more vivid and coclorful images which newspapers could not.
And in this sentence"Personally, I inclined to agree with the views that web has surpasses the newspapers."
"has surpasses" should be "will surpass",I mean there are a large number of people reading newspapers afterall.