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TOEFL; How the Internet has helped with my studies?


isiagho 1 / 1  
Mar 13, 2013   #1
Prompt: How the Internet or Internet technology (e.g., websites, blogs, forums, social media, etc.) has helped you during the course of your studies. (500 words or less).

In today's world, the Internet is everything and like most teenagers, I spend several hours a day surfing the Internet. What differentiates me from the rest of my peers is that I view the Internet as a teacher. It is true that not everything on the Internet is true, but sometimes it depends on where you look. I credit my academic success to the Internet because it has given me the tools I need to learn valuable information. I am a blogger and sometimes I blog about my academic life and 50% of those times I find someone who is going through the same class as I am or having similar problems as I am. Through the Internet I can gain knowledge from this person and they can do the same for me. Sometimes it is over different social medias like twitter or Facebook, I often tweet about a class and find that one or two of my followers are in my class of about 500 people. With the help of twitter, I can meet a couple of my classmates and we often sit together in class, study together, and form relationship together.

I have also used the Internet to advance my intellectual pursuits by doing different research on my major and my classes. With the help of the Internet, I can find out what I can gain out of my major and degree. I am a currently pre-communications and in the near future I hope to be in the New Media and Communications Technology major. When I first heard about this major, I didn't know what I could do with it and even after attending different information sessions, I still fell short when it comes to knowledge about the major. Through the Internet, I was able to find people who have graduated with a degree in this major and the things they've accomplished in their lives.

The Internet has also helped my advance my knowledge in web and graphic design. If I was asked a couple years ago, how to use Photoshop or how to host and create a website, I would've been clueless. Thanks to the Internet, my skill in that area has completely improved. By visiting various websites, I learned different Photoshop design skills and how to really bring an image to life. I am owner of a small web hosting company where I host and help people create websites. This is something I hope to continue in the future, and it is not something I would be able to do with the Internet.

Strong critique is welcomed.

hexxcoat 1 / 4 2  
Mar 13, 2013   #2
some problems with tense, numerics, capitalization
abcdefgh 5 / 21 3  
Mar 13, 2013   #3
in the your essay , the introduction and boddy and conclusion is not clear. the first sentences of paraghraph is your main idea then you only have to support it .
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 14, 2013   #4
In today's world, the Internetismeans everything to us and like most teenagers, I spend several hours a day surfing the Internet.

. I credit my academic success to the Internet because it has given me the tools I need to learn valuable information.

I give the credit of my academic success to the Internet because it has provided me with the tools I need for acquiring valuable information and knowledge.

. I am a blogger and sometimes I blog about my academic life and 50% of those times I find someone who is going through the same class as I am or having similar problems as I am .

... a little bit confusing at the end

With the help of twitter, I can meet a couple of my classmates and we often sit together in class, study together, and form relationship together.

I think you need to organize your ideas a little better. Have separate sentences for the main ideas; Internet helps you to be socialized (social forums), do research by acting as a source of information, advance your knowledge... Tell about them separately in three different paras :)
malhamed 9 / 19  
Mar 18, 2013   #5
nice comments
but

in the your essay

is this correct grammatically


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