Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


IELTS task 2: introduce new technology or free education



zztrieuman 3 / 4  
May 4, 2014   #1
Topic: Some people think governments should introduce new technology to improve people's life, while others think free education is the better choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is always a controversial issue as to whether the government should invest in research and development new technology to enhance people's living standard or in free tuition fee for students. From my perspective, it would be much better off if the government spend national resource on creating new modern technology than on free education.

It is undoubtedly that the development of new technology has revolutionized the way we living and improves people's lives. At the workplace, robots carry out many jobs that are impossible to be done by human as well as can be used to discover unknown or dangerous areas on behalf of human people. Besides, Digital technology such as mobile phones and the Internet facilitate both contact with loved one and global trade. Moreover, the evolution of technology also help people to get to closer and promote the culture exchange among different countries. Therefore, with all revenue contributed from taxpayers, the government is supposed to develop new technology to raise the living standard of their citizens as well as accelerate the process of modernization in the world.

On the other hand, some people hold the view that a country would be much better off if its government free tuition fees instead of developing more new technology. They argue that by free education, more and more children are able to go to schools and their parents do not have worry about the lack of money for their children's tuition fee. It is very easy to comprehend that more children go to schools, more students to contribute to their countries after graduation. However, it is believe that this option is more costly than developing new technology and many students may lose their incentive to study due to the lack of educational competition.

In conclusion, spend national resource on promoting new technology or free education is a matter of the authority. However, as individual level, I firmly believe that the government should fund money on the former option than the latter, because of the drawbacks of free education I have mentioned above.

fikri 5 / 310  
May 4, 2014   #2
hello, here you should put space between paragraphs, so the readers will easier to catch your points
sush2 4 / 11  
May 5, 2014   #3
in research and development new technology

You started your introduction with great phrase, but in the above line, in research and development of new technology is appropriate. And as said above, you have to keep gap from paragraph to paragraph.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
May 6, 2014   #4
the evolution of technology also helpS people

a subject-verb agreement

put space between paragraphs

Yes, fikri is right.

I want to add gap between gaps in my essay.

For the next essay, it is always good to leave one space every time you open a new paragraph.
When you deal with the real test of IELTS , the first thing the assessor sees is your layout, which shows whole of your essay. If the layout is difficult to read, which is let's say: no spaces between paragraphs, then he/she immediately knows your writing needs more work to read.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: introduce new technology or free education
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳