An introduction for capital punishment

hi.i have written an introduction for capital punishment and I am willing to know my mistakes.

Should we put capital punishment to death? In many modern civilized societies, supporters of capital punishment have decreased considerably in number and critics consider it barbaric and inhumane. Capital punishment is indeed a brutal and irrational punishment and this idea can be explained from moral and intellectual point of view.

Capital punishment is morally wrong since it seeks revenge and aims to kill the criminal. Victim or people close to him/her feel a sense of relief and comfort by killing the criminal and harming his/her family and this feeling is inhumane and temporary. It is subject to the principle" an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth" and such an attitude is brutal and harms society.

Capital punishment is not also justified from intellectual point of view since there is no indisputable evidence and statistics that supports the fact executing a criminal reduces the number of crimes and act as an effective deterrent. In countries such as Iran, China and The US that keep capital punishment in practice, many citizens are in prisons. Moreover, justice system is fallible and there will be mistakes especially those which depend on human testimony. Eyewitness testimony relies on the accuracy of human memory and we are aware that our memory is far from perfect and witnesses can make mistakes due to bad memory or blurred vision so it is not rational to put a human's life at risk based on words of another person.

Capital punishment is absurd and medieval and not suitable for modern societies. Nowadays human rights are highly respected and taking extreme actions such as capital punishment should be supported by iron logic and credible statistics. If we intend to punish wrong doers, capital punishment can be simply replaced by life imprisonment when criminal is severely restricted and has to live rest of their life behind bars.

please be honest and helpful.what do you think of my first sentence?do you find my essay misleading or ambiguous?

---I will be honest. Of that you can be absolutely certain.
---Normally I'm not crazy about these kinds of "hooks." However, I rather like what you've done. (If I change my mind, I'll let you know.)

---You haven't posted a complete essay, so I can't answer that question.

Should we put capital punishment to death? NowadaysI n modern and civilized societies, its supporters have decreased in number considerably. Critics view the death penalty as inhumane and barbaric.but I believeHowever, this unrealistic and romantic view ignores thebasic human nature. and it is harmful to the society.This essay will discuss the issue in details.

thank you for your corrections.I m learning how to write an essay and my teacher wanted me to focus on introduction part.when I showed my paper to her,she thought that my first sentence was misleading and not clear enough and she said if I m going to to start my essay like that,i need to explain it and make it clear in my subsequent sentences but I think that my first sentence is clear enough and my subsequent sentences makes it crystal clear and reader isnot dumb.

that s why I asked you whether my first sentence and its figurative meaning is clear to you or not and was it a good decision to start my essay like that?

and you have crossed out some lines.for example: it is harmful to the society and considerably.would you please explain?

Both are redundant. Trust me.

That's all for "tonight."

I can answer other questions (later) tomorrow.

pinky swear...

thanks.I m waiting for your reply impatiently.

Hi. To which question(s) are you awaiting a reply? I think I covered why I deleted the stuff I did.

thank you for your corrections.I m learning how to write an essay and my teacher wanted me to focus on introduction part.when I showed my paper to her,she thought that my first sentence was misleading and not clear enough and she said if I m going to to start my essay like that,i need to explain it and make it clear in my subsequent sentences but I think that my first sentence is clear enough and my subsequent sentences makes it crystal clear and reader isnot dumb.

that s why I asked you whether my first sentence and its figurative meaning is clear to you or not and was it a good decision to start my essay like that?

You are right. Your teacher is wrong.

Writing teachers are often wrong.

However, if your grade or anything else important depends on this essay, you are to do as she says.

If there's any doubt in your mind as to your teacher's ability to comprehend the relatively simple idea conveyed by that sentence, delete it.

thank you jkjeremy for your replies.i wish others specially a moderator replied to my topic.i really would like to get more answers on my topic.

Most people here mean well.

They probably don't work from home (as I do).

Hi!

First of all, I'd say listen to jkjeremy! I agree with every single one of his corrections. There are many grammatical errors and redundancies in this intro that he removed and I suggest you listen to those. I think you also need to add more substance to this intro. In basic essay writing classes a teacher will suggest that you spell out your three main points in the intro, and while that is a little fifth grade to me, I do think you need to suggest the points you are going to make. As a rule of thumb, don't ever say "this essay will..." It's literally a waste of time for the reader to read that; we are already reading your essay and will figure that out. Hope that helps a bit, I hope you make those corrections and add substance so we can help you further :)

I m taking my first steps in writing an essay.actually this is literally my first English essay that I have tried to write according to normal standards.

you said:"In basic essay writing classes a teacher will suggest that you spell out your three main points in the intro" that s true and I know it as blueprint but I simply didn't have any idea to write my three main points and since it is optional I decided not to write that.i just wanted to write a good introduction with a correct structure.

Well you should probably come up with your three points so you can add to your intro. To be perfectly honest, if you don't know what the essay will be about, then you shouldn't even bother writing an intro. An intro has literally no meaning if there's not some idea for the essay after. An intro is literally just that.. an introduction. An introduction has to introduce some points that will be addressed in an essay.

That's what they say...

This notion has been reinforced for so long that everyone assumes it to be true.

YOU, Mare, had better not do this on the AP test (which you must take even if I have to pay for it myself).

jkjeremy,you wrote it is redundant to write considerably but I still don't get it why you think considerably is redundant.would you please explain more? I understand that the sentence I will discuss the issue in detail is redundant but I m not convinced why considerably is redundant.

Sorry that I wasn't clear. I should have been asleep.

It's more of an implied redundancy---if you are going to claim that "supporters of capital punishment has decreased in number," then we KNOW that you mean "considerably." If the decrease had been insignificant, you wouldn't have mentioned it at all.

You may call me John if you'd like.

I should have come up with a more creative screen name (or at least one that didn't force me to read my initials and surname dozens of times a day).

where is this "like button"? I don't know why it has disappeared.thank you so much John. I learned a lot.
Is it necessary to omit implied redundancies? some words and phrases are obviously unnecessary but maybe words such as considerably or a sentence like it harms society emphasize and reminds reader of causes and effects. maybe I didn't use a proper word but what if the change is significant enough that I want to mention it? or what if I want to remind reader and emphasize it has harmed society?

maybe I should have written:decreased considerably in number(instead of decreased in number considerably) to emphasize on considerably.what do you think?