Introductory of writing: negative of city life

city life essay introduction

Nowadays, some people tend to live in a big city to have more opportunities for a better job. There are immensely benefits and drawbacks of living in urban. In this essay, there will be further discussion about my view.

Your paraphrasing does not come across clearly. What is the basis for the discussion? You should include the reason for the topic being discussed. The writing instructions should also be clearer to the reader. We should understand what the original discussion instructions are based on the represented information alone. That is not the case in this presentation. Next time you post the introduction, it would help if you could post the original presentation as well. That way I can truly assess whether your presentation is appropriate, lacking, or good enough to be used in an actual essay. As of now, based on this presentation, the grammar is really off. You need to keep practicing sentence construction. Let me show you how to fix this:

People tend to live in urban areas these days. They opt to do so due to the available job opportunities. While other people believe that there are equal benefits and drawbacks to living in the city, I believe otherwise. My reasons will be explained in detail below.

Again, I am not sure if this is the appropriate paraphrase for this topic. I just opted to show you an example of how your own presentation should have gone to help illustrate your grammar problems.

Perhaps it is worth opening this topic not from the side of finding a better job? Instead of this, explain that nowadays people want to live in big cities because there are more new acquaintances, you can get a lot of experience in different areas, etc.?

thank you so much for your response. I will check my introduction and I will be careful next time. hjhj @Holt @tinyyy @Dev_Waterhouse