IELTS WRITING - TASK 2 - INVENTION OF COMPUTER

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is an opinion stated that the innovation of computers is the most outstanding breakthrough over the past century. Personally, I strongly agree with this statement, due to enormous beneficial contribution that this technological device has made to the humankind's education and commerce.

To begin with, computers inevitably play a pivotal role in the development of education. There are a number of applications on this gadget containing both educational and recreational values, taking Kahoot, for instance. Teachers thus might deploy these applications to create a more relaxing atmosphere during their lessons, which could boost the interest of students in acquiring knowledge. In addition, the invention of computers also encourage distance learning. This learning method is particularly valuable in difficult situations, such as the spread of Covid-19 pandemic at present.

Besides, the innovation of computers also facilitates the international commerce. With the apprearance of this device, geographical barriers has been significantly eased. Therefore, enterprises are permitted to be more effortless in looking for their business partners and concluding contracts with them, whether two parties are living in a similar country or in different regions. Moreover, many online trading platforms are established on the foundation of computer invention, such as stock market. For that reason, the money flow, as well as the exchange of goods and services, is stimulated, resulting in the development of global economy as a whole.

In conclusion, educational and commercial values are two root reasons why I totally believe that the appearance of computers worth the greatest invention that the humanity has witnessed over the past 100-year period.

The writer presents a clear understanding of the topic. The restatement is well-worded and shows a relevant word usage. The opinion follows the suggested response format. Discussion basis presentations are on the mark and increase the accuracy of the restatement + opinion paragraph.

When writing based on personal knowledge the winter must include a short description when the example is native to his county. Explaining what and how Kahoot is used could have increased the clarity of the paragraph. The examiner is not familiar with the app so an explanation would have benefitted the C + C score.

The writer mistakenly wrote a concluding run on sentence for his conclusion. He must be aware that this is a concluding PARAGRAPH not a concluding SENTENCE. It requires the same 3-5 sentence paragraph format comprised of the topic restatement, writer's opinion, and supporting reasons focus to fall under correct scoring considerations.

@Holt
thanks a lot for your invalueable instructions
Can I ask u another question? how can I give feedback to other people