Unanswered [17] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


The issue of whether adolescents should work for several years between school and university


Thu Ha 1 / -  
Jul 18, 2021   #1

taking a job between school and university



The issue of whether adolescents should work outside for several years between school and university is partly a question of the traditions in different cultures or nationalities. There are a range of various pros and cons with regard to this phenomenon, which I will discuss now.

One of the undisputed advantages of taking a job is youngsters have opportunities to broaden their social circle by meeting people of different backgrounds in working environment. Another positive aspect that it is a beneficial way which should be encouraged them to be as self-reliant as possible, this boosts their self-esteem. For instance, teenagers live in unstable families, due to such issues as unemployment or political chaos, take a job makes them have independent income to support their families.

On the other hand, there are several pitfalls to working outside when the youth continued to study at school. One definite drawback of taking a job is they will ignore and lose the habit of enhancing knowledge. This is because they just focus on earning money as much as possible and decrease their passion for learning. Furthermore, it can be seen that young people do not have enough experiences and skills to go to work. As a consequence, adolescents have to cope with many problems to select suitable jobs.

To sum up, I think there are arguments for and against the idea of working between school and university. The important thing is to be aware of these issues and opt for the path that suits your personal circumstance.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Jul 19, 2021   #2
The writer is asked to base his pros and cons discussion on his personal opinion, The prompt asks the writer to present his opinion as a part of the restatement + opinion presentation. The reference to this is missing in the frist paragraph. Therefore, the reintroduction is incomplete and will lose some points because of it. There is also a lack of clear reference topics to the pro and con paragraphs that affected the clarity of the upcoming paragraphs.

The writer must avoid over- sensationalising of the paragraph presentations. As these are academic discussions a proper calm and equal writing tone must be created in the presentation. Words such as "undisputed ", which create exaggerated reference points have no place in this type of writing.


Home / Writing Feedback / The issue of whether adolescents should work for several years between school and university
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳