TASK 2
In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
In several states, the dilemma of adolescents after finishing third school and before beginning in college is a controversial issue. According to the statement, however it takes on positive and negative effects.
The benefit for traveling in space time after third school is teenager could survive to know about the University to be. They can travel in another city to get much information access about the quality of Universities, and what kinds of subject that they will choose. Because it is the chance for many new students to catch much of consideration how to find the best decision. At the point, this would help them for preparation for coming test in the University that they will be taken.
From the other side, there is bad thing also if they do not get much advantageous at the moment because it can be taken directly from in the space time before the lecture will begin. Unfortunately, the utility of short time has been spent for useless something. For instance, traveling is just for to go to some places without does not have project destination.
Finally, there are good thing and bad thing about two views. However it would depend on people to manage their time to be successful.
Hai Halim! Here is my correction for you.
third school : my appologize, I don't understand the phrase. Maybe you can use other phrase or just change the verb.
teenager => you use singular but then you use plural =>They can
much advantageous => many
traveling => (for IETLS) I think it's better if we use British spelling => travelling (double ll )
Hi Halim! I am trying to give you a different way to write some sentences. I hope it can add your preference.
....sometimes it is hard to young people to decide on what to do the dilemma of adolescents after finishing third school and before beginning in college is a controversial issue . Traveling or working becomes several recommended things that can be their choice.
Keep spirit!
Hi Halim.
I am delighted to meet this medium. I have read your writing closely. Let me help you to improve you writing skill. I will describe a few notes, I highly hope wanna meet its points and deal with those.
Halim, this is perhaps the first time for you in this section. Based on value indicators of the writing test, you made the huge error. This writing did not consist more than 250 words. trust me, you will get a penalty and your score will be reduced. On the other hand, I cannot get the point of your writing. Task responses of the writing ask you to describe the benefits and detrimental effects of that matter. However, you did not review that with clear data or you write words not relevant to your mind. For example, ".... is teenager could survive to know about the University to be...". What do you mean "survive'? I am sure that it did not relate to this circumstance. As part of those, you need to learn the way to explain your idea clearly in the writing task 2. I did not found a sense in this writing. Actually, you should harness linking words appropriately, so you did not jump from the topic to another topic. Not only you have to sharpen that, but you should understand to arrange the supporting sentences. It is essential in the writing because those will develop your idea.
Turning to the introduction and conclusion paragraph, you should mention the advantages and disadvantages which you generate. Those will give the first glance about substance in your idea. Following that, you should remember that each good paragraph should have more than 2 sentences.
Overall, I appreciate your effort because you wanna try writing. I really believe you are going to master this section if you wanna try again and again. When you provide much time to practice more, the better progress will attend in your process. Keep spirit and enjoy your process.
Happy writing
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