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The issue of the increasing crime rate has presented itself as a vital challenge in this day and age



Osama0435 5 / 9  
Jun 18, 2020   #1

Causes and solution for the rise of criminal activity



Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


In the recent past, the issue of the increasing crime rate has presented itself as a vital challenge in this day and age. This essay will examine the main causes of the rising crime level and possible solutions to this problem.

The two main causes of the upward trend of crime are the thrive of nationalism and the deteriorating living conditions of impoverished people. Some people might have more stereotypes and biases while confronting another foreign culture due to globalization. Instead of respecting, they attempt to insult and even attack others which are viewed as villainous enemies to their race or nation. For instance, it is reported that there is an increasing number of immigrants from the Middle East are under attack by residents in East Germany. Also, the worsen circumstances make poor people have no choice but to commit the crime to live on. More inhabitants, for example, who live in slums in Africa help smugglers to traffic drugs and illegal weapons to maintain their livelihood. Because of these aforementioned causes, the crime level keeps going up.

Several possible solutions to this problem are offering multiple courses about learning other cultures and improving social welfare policies. By providing multicultural courses such as how to cook Syrian traditional cousins or sharing various institutions from Mexico, we could replace xenophobia with respect and empathy in people's mind. Moreover, the next step in fighting rising crime percentage is passing more bills to improve social welfare such as providing employment guaranty, extra allowance, and job insurance. This way, governments could improve the living environment for people in need and retard the steady growth of crime effectively.

In conclusion, the spread of nationalism and degenerating living circumstances of the needy contribute to an upward trend in criminal activity. However, we can significantly lessen this problem by providing multicultural courses and legislating more social policies to help impoverished people.

Hello Mr. Holt, if possible, I would like to know what brand I might score now in task 2 and the mistakes that I should avoid in this task or some problems about my writing skills that may cut down my total score. Thank you.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Jun 19, 2020   #2
Your essay is not focused on a a discussion regarding the reasons why the crime rate is increasing and how it can be resolved, You were perhaps influenced by the events occurring in the United States these days which related to racism and racial discrimination, which are totally different from regular crimes, which the essay was trying to have you discuss. Your essay focused on the racial aspects of crime rather than the regular reasons for crime such as poverty, lack of education, joblessness, etc. So I am sorry but, your essay did not discuss the correct topic as based on the prompt requirement. It is totally incorrect in discussion format. Your misunderstood the term "crime rate". You got it confused with racial issues, which has been causing discord in America and other parts of the world these days. So this essay is not going to get a passing score. It did not come near the proper discussion qualifications for the given topic. The score for this essay will be 1. The essay was completely unrelated to the task.


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