IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Get a job between school and university

Some suggests that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university.

Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people do this.

Many people suppose that students may take occupations before they pursue higher education at university. While I accept that this extent has good benefits but drawbacks can lead to some serious problems.

The option to get a job straight after graduating from high school have disadvantages to some extent. Initially, studying need a continuos of practicing, thinking and interrupt it makes our brain can not rehabilitate to familiar with the lesson. When people lost the habit of studying, it is difficult for them to achieve academic success such as the university entrance exam. Subsequently, the shortcoming in specialized knowledge makes them having a low income and get easier to lose their work and depends on their parents. Lastly, the older you get, the harder you find in going to university.

On the other hand, this decision has some undeniable advantages. Working is a good chance to gain various valuable experiences that can't find in school. If you have the acumen and the ability to acquire knowledge dramatically, you can have the promotion opprtunities without a degree. The obtaining of real experiences also useful for you in studying when you intend to go to the university thus this process forces you in a discipline that significantly help you easy accustomed to the studying environment.

In conclusion, it seems evident that youngsters have to aware of these issues and have their own adjust to suitable for the situation. In my opinion, they should start working between school and university despite the notable drawbacks.

This is not an opinion essay. As such, your opinion at the end of the summary statement was not required. In fact, your summary statement is not a complete rendition of the original prompt restatement. An example complete restatement is:

Ideas have emerged that high school graduates should consider gaining full employment in the form of gap years. While this idea is a sound proposal, it appears that youngsters who work prior to attending college may experience both benefits and drawbacks. That is why it is important that both sides of this discussion be assessed.

In the above example, the examiner can see the restated:
- Topic sentence (high school graduates should consider gaining full employment in the form of gap years)
- Reason (benefits and drawbacks)
- Discussion instruction ( both sides of this discussion be assessed)

3 sentences, one complete paragraph, a thorough paraphrasing of the original discussion. That is how the discussion should always be presented in a task 2 essay.

I have to be honest though and say that there is a lack of clarity in the discussion paragraphs. Your thought process does not follow a logical line of reasoning and the grammar structure makes the passages difficult to understand. It takes several repeated readings of your work before a guess of what you are trying to say can be achieved. You need to practice more with regards to English sentence structures to make sure that you learn to create understandable sentences.

Since the conclusion is only a summary of the discussion based on your given paragraph bodies, it will appear that this is not properly represented either. You are again, under the word count, not properly summarizing your content, and giving an opinion where none is required. I am sad to say that this is not the type of essay that can achieve a 5 band score.

Keep practicing though. That is the only way you can get better at this. Work more on your English comprehension skills and grammar exercises. Those are your two weakest points in this essay.