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What should kids do when parents are too busy to accompany their child? TOEFL EXAM



Adamtong 9 / 30  
Sep 15, 2014   #1
If parents are too busy to accompany their kids, do you think the kids should spend more time playing games or sports or they should do more related to schoolwork?

It is significant to discuss about the controversy on the issue that what should kids do when parents are too busy to accompany their kids.A fair proportion of people asserts that the kids should spend more time playing games or sports,other people,nevertheless,advocate that kids should do more related to schoolwork.As far as i am concerned,i sided with latter,for it is more advisable.Of the countless reasons that strengthen my viewpoint,i will provide the most concrete reasons and evidences as follows.

The first point i'm presenting is that as a student,it is our responsibility to study,to review the facts of science we learnt.In my daily study,i strongly have a feeling that we can not obtain every information from the class no matter how hard we try and even if we understand almost everything from the professor,which i deeply doubt that,we would forget the keys of the lecture after a period of time.And this make reviewing the schoolwork very critical to a student. And considering that our parents pay the fee to let us get a good education,it is reasonable we spend the leisure time to review the knowledge we acquire.

Another reason why i would like to vote for spending more time to do schoolwork is that leisure time is a good time slot to challenge what we have learnt.For me,the purpose of the education is to perfect ourselves.And the only way to perfect ourselves is to challenge ourselves.We study a lot of facts from the class,but is that correct?What can we learn from that piece of the history,or if that piece of history is a lie at all?How can we use that equation more smartly?This question can never be taught by a teacher or our parents hand by hand.The process to search the answer to this question is the process to challenge ourselves and to perfect ourselves.

Admittedly, i agree that playing games or sports makes fun to the kids to compensate the loneliness from the absence of the parents and even build up our body,making us much healthier.However,we have to realize that spending hours and hours of the precious time running and laughing is a kind of wasting time compared to meditation about the philosophy of the social or physical science.

Taking into account all these factors listed above,we can easily draw the conclusion that it is wiser to spend more time doing some more related to schoolwork.

masghar 1 / 2  
Sep 15, 2014   #2
our parents pay the fee to let us get a good education

parents spend their hard earned money to educate us

lots of over used words in your essay
d96nguyen 5 / 10  
Sep 16, 2014   #3
It is significant to discuss about the controversy on the issue that what should kids should do when their parents are too busy to accompany their kidsthem.

i sidedI side with the latter forbecause it is more advisable.
The first point i'm presenting is that as a students ,it is our responsibility is to study,to review the facts of science we learnt.

I strongly have a feelingfeel that we can notcannot obtain
OP Adamtong 9 / 30  
Sep 16, 2014   #4
thank u very much.very helpful.
d96nguyen 5 / 10  
Sep 16, 2014   #5
This questionThese questions can never be taught by a teacher or our parents hand by hand.The process to search the answer to this question is the process to challenge ourselves and to perfect ourselves.

The process to of searching the answers to this questionthese questions is the process to challenge ourselves and to perfect ourselves.
Admittedly, i agree that playing games or sports makes fun to the kids to compensate the loneliness from the absence of thetheir parents and even build up our body ,make usthemfeel much healthier.

Taking into account of all these factors listed above
OP Adamtong 9 / 30  
Sep 16, 2014   #6
are u preparing the toefl exam at the same time?are we even the acquaintance in the first place?
anyway,thank u so much.
nickyzhi 8 / 21  
Sep 16, 2014   #7
I am the man who introduce you to this amazing place!
work hard!
NoumanAhmad 2 / 8  
Sep 19, 2014   #8
Focus on your beginning and conclusion. Your beginning was not abrupt which is good. But the conclusion is not upto the mark. It is the most crucial part. You could say "In a nutshell, it is wiser...". Your conclusion is too short. At least, there must be 2 sentences. And try to use a little more sophisticated vocab.


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