IELTS- Languages die every year......... Is this a positive trend?

Several languages die every year. Many people feel this is a positive trend and that a world with fewer language promotes harmony and uderstanding between people.Analyze both sides of this arguement and provide your opinion

Nowadays, whether should major languages be dominated in the world has caused a hot topic. Some people think that we can improve communication efficiency by using major language. Others argue that the rare language should be protected and appreciated. In my opinion, it is necessary make rare language to survive.

Firstly, it is obvious that different language demonstrates different cultures. We do not know what we lose if that language is died. For example, in my hometown, we have a lot of songs and stories that based on our own language. Those things will be disappeared forever if that language is died. Furthermore, language helps community to remain cohesive and have a strong sense of identity.

Secondly, language is a treasure that belongs to all human rice. It deserves all people to protect. Furthermore, some rare language makes a great contribution to the civilization of human history. The clue of original of human races could be found by understanding those rare languages.

It is true that the communication efficiency could be improved by speaking only fewer languages. However, the ethnic cohesion could be weakening by dying of language.

In sum, we should take our responsibility to maintain the diversity of language. It is not only enriching our cultural richness, but level the great treasure to our future generation.

rare languages
different languages
that language is died u mean which language?! that is supposed to refer to sth. better to write dies out instead of is died .
a lot of songs and stories its better to say a large number of songs and stories
if , its more appropriate to use provided that
It deserves all people to protect , if u wanna use deserve u can say it is deserved to be protecred by people , although i'd rather say people are supposed to save it.

Well... you have roughly 218 words only and I feel that is not adequate for this task if you wish to go for a good score. You need to work on this aspect.

For example, in my hometown, we have a lot of songs and stories that are based on our own language.


....language is dead / language died


Secondly, the language is the core of a particular culture and therefore it is a treasure that needs to be protected to ensure the authenticity of different cultures and communities.