A few languages are increasingly spoken in different countries, while the usage of others is rapidly

the increase of common languages usage

Social issues have always been resolved by the policy of the Government, the awareness of citizens and the improvement of education. While a number of people believe that the increase of using common languages can bring many economics benefits to most nations, others think that the usage of less well-known languages which are being declined can result in some related-culture problems. In my opinion, the disappearing of some languages in the world has negative effects since it not only contributes to the losing cultural diversity but also causes inequalities for many lower-speed developing countries.

To begin with, language has always been considered as an effective tool that brings people around the world together through the exchange of culture and history. However, as languages such as English or Chinese are being used more often for global purposes, many traditional ways of communication seem to be forgotten. Indeed, in the face of global linguistic homogenization it is hard for the indigenous people to retain their knowledge and so as the lost of their cultural values. For example, a cure for cancer which is known as cliche, is an affective element that can be found in the Amazon rain forest. However, many pharmaceutical companies do not know this kind of remedy because the name is called by the shamans language, for this reason, a large amount of resources were spent to find another solution for the disease. Another example is that when the languages of local people can not reach the knowledge of other nations around the world, their culture will easily be forgotten . In the multi-ethnic society, people tend to use common languages for gaining benefits and exchanging culture. On the other hand, when some languages are unfamiliar to many individuals, its origins and cultural values can be ignored.

Last but not least, this way of communicating can result in a large number of inequalities for aboriginal people. Using well-known language like English can bring up advantages for multinational company including Microsoft and Google. As a result, these traders can have a better connection to their partners, becoming more successful in their business. On the other hand, the contracts for the clients not knowing English will be hard to operated as the directors can not understand the native language which brings less economic incomes for the local nations. Furthermore, the gap between rich and developing countries will be widen which causes the increasing of inequality for lower-speed developing nations.

In short, the massively speaking of common languages instead of others is considered to have negative effects on the fair development of countries around the world.

Oh boy... You did not use a timer when you wrote this essay did you? There is absolutely no way you could have written 434 words in 40 minutes. The target word count is just between 275-290 words. You overdid it. Mostly because you lost track of time. Next time, use a timer. It is the best way to judge how well you can write a response within the given time frame.

Your introduction was supposed to be a prompt paraphrase or a representation of the original discussion topic and instructions in your own words. I have reviewed the original prompt and the information you provide in your presentation is nowhere to be found. It is almost as if you intentionally decided to change the prompt parameters. That is why you wrote too many words. You did not follow the discussion topic even though you properly responded to the discussion question. By the way, you should not have presented your opinion as a part of your response. You were only supposed to provide a direct response. The opinion discussion always follows in the body of paragraphs.

Do not overwrite in your paragraphs. Just keep it between the required 3-5 sentences. You have to learn to write less but have more meaning in your words. That is done through a proper mix of complex and simple sentences. Your essay really needs to focus on its clarity and coherence in this instance. Focus on the meaning of the words, give direct opinions. Wordy essays like this one just wastes time and space. The examiner expects direct explanations, reasons, and responses within your paragraphs. Try to learn to write connected sentence thoughts, use conjunctions in the proper manner.

Remember, the word is "cannot", not "can not". The latter implies that you can but fail to do so, which makes the word presentation really unclear to the reader. This is a common word choice error. The term "operate" connotes the current function or work of a verb. "Operated" is the past tense word. The same goes for "lost" = "loss".

Never write a single sentence concluding presentation. You always have to present the reverse paraphrase in 3-5 sentences. That is the standard format for that section. Summarize the:

- Original prompt
- Discussion topic
- Your response and reasons
- Closing sentence

You have a long way to go in terms of achieving a passing score for your Task 2 essay. This essay should only be a start, this should not be the way that you write succeeding essays. Make changes to your writing style as indicated above.

You have amazing ideas with informative examples, but you still have some mistakes to be figured out.

Firstly, you don't have to give 2 examples in the second paragraph, the example about cliche is good enough.

" On the other hand, when some languages are unfamiliar to many individuals, its origins and cultural values can be ignored."
I think you try to bring up another statement, but it is totally repetitive.
I suggest you write a conclusion of a paragraph to summon up your ideas "Thus, invaluable legacy off minor cultures is forgotten due to their unfamiliar languages"

Moreover, "well-known language like English", the word "well-known" is mostly used for people. I suggest "prevalent language like English", it means popular , which is more suitable in this case.

In the last paragraph, your third paragraph is not coherent. Initially, you say this trend lead to inequalities for aboriginal people, then you mention about the benefits which are brought to the multinational companies. Although you mention about the misunderstanding between companies and employees not knowing English, you say it brings less incomes to the companies. What about the effect to employees not knowing, did you mention anything?