'learn to develop good characteristics in ourselves' - TOEFL

We all work in our jobs with many different kinds of people. In your opinion,what are some important characteristics of a co-worker? Use reasons and specific examples to explain why these characteristics are important.

We all study and do our best at school, university so to get a good education. Also, to get a successful job in the future. While working with other people in our community we learn many things and value our relationship with them. In my opinion, co-workers should have qualities like honesty, being adept in her or his job as well as being always ready to give a hand in need.

Firstly, as people say honesty is the best policy. If you work with honest people and who can criticize you and can tell you your weak points would be benefit for both agency and employee at the same time.

Secondly, working with people who are masters in their field or job is always advantage. It raises competition among co-workers and of course it will lead to success and improvement in a company or institution.

Thirdly, having a co-worker who is helpful and the person whom you can always count on in your bad times is merit. Because nobody is perfect and we all have problems in our live. For example, there can be times when you are sick or the members of your family and here can be your collaborator who can help you out in your hard times.

In conclusion, we should learn to develop good characteristics in ourselves so it would be easy and delightful working with our co-workers. The characteristics which I mentioned above would be appreciated by many people who collaborate with each other every day.

Some suggestions for TOFEL wirting.

1. Keep your sentence long instead of separate them into two.
For example I'll modify your first sentence to "In order o get a good education as well as a successful job, we all study and do our best in school"

2. Give further explanation or more specific example in your second and third paragraph.
Two sentence for one paragraph is not enough.

3. TOFEL independent wirting require 300+ words and it's better to have about 350 words or more.
Yours is only 258 and it's apparently not enough.
Try to develop your main paragraph more.

I'm not native speaker so don't take it too seriously. ^_<

Thank you for useful tips. I will take for considiration all of them.

Parvina,
the content looks good to me.But the language structure , grammer ,
and vocabulary needs to be reviewed.The opening paragraph looks little bit away from the topic. Still it could be started like this (in my opinion);

After hard study and devotion in school and college, we land in our dream job to work with diverse people with their own Individual character and habits. Good characteristics of coworker triggers postive work environment helping to achieve company's goal. While negative hurts the morale among the staffs and create hostility. But , What are the "good" or important characteristics of the coworkers that help to abreast the company and create good working environment? In my opinion, honesty, helpfulness and knowledge are three important constituents for good coworkers.

I'm studying to TOEFL too. So, for all a read about good essays, I believe you should develop more your paragraphs.
What I means is that you need provide more details and exemples.

Good luck!

Quote from philosophy 101. KNOW THYSELF.

>This is a typical TOEFL question of character, and thankfully it's not about your neighbor. Can you cite any true examples of a good co-worker? - There are many examples (of co-workers, colleagues, spouses) in movies. An ideal co-worker is your spouse!?!

Think about a business partner. WOW!

Thank you Wang for rewritting my essay. i like it:)

I would definitely work on structure, the first sentence is a bit rocky. Good Luck!

Think you 2