Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Learn variety of cultures, traditions by engaging with local people and visiting historical places



latkhan 4 / 9  
Aug 22, 2014   #1
When visiting foreign countries, visitors should take full advantage of learning the culture and traditions of that country. How can they learn about the culture and traditions? Why do some visitors strive to learn about culture and traditions while other are not interested at all?

Many travelers make great effort to learn the culture and customs of the country they visit, yet some visitors have other preferences. This essay will analyze both point of views and discuss the ways to gain cultural and traditional knowledge.

There are several ways travelers can learn about various cultures and customs while traveling. Perhaps, the easiest way is, by interacting with the local inhabitants. This will not only open up their mind, eyes and heart to a different way of life but this would also encourage understanding each other. For example, dinning in a local restaurant will provide them the opportunity to gain knowledge of traditional food and customs. In addition to that, travelers can also visit places of historic value and gain knowledge of their history and traditions.

People of course travel for various reasons and tourism is the top of these reasons. Indeed, it is possible to say that, many people are passionate to learn different cultures and customs and for this reason they love to travel. However, there are also people who travel to escape form their day to day routine and prefer to spend their time to relax rather to explore new culture and customs. Take Barbados for example, people travel there to enjoy their holidays and relax by spending time in front of the beach and they have less interest in learning new traditions. Thus, it is fairly easy to understand why people have different interest in learning various cultures and traditions.

In conclusion, undoubtedly, traveling provides the opportunity to learn variety of cultures' and traditions by engaging with local people and visiting historical places. However, people travel for different purposes and have limited time to learn new traditions.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Aug 23, 2014   #2
Your writing is great! It's hard to find an error. So I will tell you how to improve the structure.

First, add a sentence to the end of the first paragraph. It is clear already, but a paragraph usually should have more than 2 sentences. I especially think your first paragraph should have another sentence added because it is an opportunity to tell the reader the big idea of the essay.

Remember: The essay is supposed to convey to the reader one big idea. The first paragraph can express that same idea in a single paragraph. The last sentence of the first paragraph can express the same idea in a single sentence. That sentence can also include one or more words that express your idea in a single word. Stay focused on your big idea.

The first sentence of each paragraph should be a 'paragraph topic sentence' that explains two things: the main idea of the paragraph and how that idea is related to the big idea of the whole essay. These sentences are not related to the main idea you expressed in the first paragraph:

There are several ways travelers can learn...
People of course travel for various reasons and tourism is the top of these...
Your main idea was about 2 points of view. So if you want the paragraphs to begin with paragraph topic sentences that support the main idea, you can make this the first sentence of the paragraph:

People of course travel for various reasons and tourism is the top of these reasons . Some tourists do not learn about local customs because their purpose for traveling does not involve learning about culture. Indeed, it is possible to say...

: -)


Home / Writing Feedback / Learn variety of cultures, traditions by engaging with local people and visiting historical places
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳