The topic: Is is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.
To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children.
punishment will guide you what's wrong
Here my essay, thank you for your feedback
learning to distinguish between the right and wrong at an early age is very essential for children. It's very necessary for parents and teacher to teach them how to learn the different between right a and wrong. They should use suggestion or advice firstly, then punishing their children if they keep doing mistake. Punishments should not affect a children negatively.
Nowadays,children are more sensite to surroundings and electronic media as they easily get exposed to such media. Getting exposed to external environment has both advantages and disadvantages so we can't prevent them from outdoor world. This makes teaching children the difference between right and wrong become important.At an early age, children will be very interested in getting exposed to an outside world or society. Thus, they imitate what they see and sometimes these actions are negative. To avoid that punishment is the best way as fear of punishment make children stay away from many wrong things. An example, my brother usually plays game and doesn't finish his homework.Finally, he got bad result of first semester. My mom asks him to finish homework everyday and allows him to play games only at weekend after his homework has done.
On the other hand, punishment shouldn't affect badly on children's physic and mentality. For instance, Japanese children are made to plant trees as a punishment by their parents. Many schools in India punish students by asking them to run few kilometers. Such punishment are constructive for children's health and society as well.
To conclude, i strongly believe that children should learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age and punishment is one of the effective ways to guide them learn this distinction. However, parents and teachers must use positive and constructive punishment to show them the right path.
D, the format of your essay is incorrect. You do not place the degree of your agreement at the end of the essay. You need to place that at the beginning of the essay as part of the paraphrasing of the question provided. You should have said:
Youngsters should learn the difference between correct and incorrect actions early in life. Some people believe that the best way to teach this lesson is by disciplining them. I do not agree with this form of lesson because there are other ways by which good behavior may be taught to children.
The response goes at the start of the essay because the rest of the body paragraphs should explain why you support that point of view and how you think the lessons and discipline should be administered. All threshed out within 2 paragraphs of 5 sentences each. The reasoning paragraphs can be divided as:
Par. 2 - Reason for disagreement
Par. 3 - Alternative punishments or forms of teaching obedience
Your essay seems to be focused only on the discussion of the alternate forms of punishment. It does not try to convince the reader that there is no need for punishment first. That is the main focus of this discussion and a whole paragraph should be allotted to that discussion alone. You need to learn how to identify what sort of discussions are required based on the prompt requirements, then provide that discussion and any other discussion required. You cannot focus only on the part of the discussion that you feel confident about discussing. When you discuss one aspect but little discuss the other, you will end up with very low TA and C&C scores. Therefore, a balanced discussion of each required topic is required.