foreign language as one of the major subjects
In recent years, learning a foreign language has been a compulsory subject at schools in Vietnam, Singapore and many other countries due to a pyramid of benefits students receive from it. Noticing that, more and more schools are planning to consider a foreign language as one of the major subjects students are required to study.
The first benefit is for students in countries which English is not the official language. Any student who has the chance to study this international language from early on can easily go to the UK for sight-seeing, studying or even working and researching. Nowadays, English and Chinese are the two dominant languages in the world with over one billion speakers each. Therefore, people who are fluent in English or Chinese will take advantage of the others. They can communicate with their friends from all over the world in a confident way to broaden their knowledge. They will learn more about the diversity of culture, history, food and so on. Most of reliable information now is written in English and French books, magazines..., especially medicine books.
In addition, people good at two or more languages get twice as much salary as ones who know only one language. Having an international language certificate, people have more opportunities to be employed by huge companies such as Google, Samsung, Apple... People also receive respect at work by foreign colleagues with their advanced skills in language. As a result, their co-operation is much easier.
For all these reasons, a foreign language should be a specialised subject at all schools.
Hi bunnytiger01, hope that I can help.
First of all, would you mind tell task respond of this question? Is it:
a. agree or disagree
b. discuss both these views (and your opinion)
From your answer (mainly on paragraphs 2, 3 and 4) I guess it was asking whether you agree or not...
People say learning is bidirectional, now I really get the meaning of that is by giving the feedback I'm getting the knowledge/skill too.
No wonder many of the IELTS tutors emphasize on paraphrasing the question on the introduction paragraph, i.e. with the proper paraphrasing reader will get an idea of the question even the writer not posting it all together. I'm sorry but I'm afraid you may failed that paraphrasing part if it is essential for the IELTS examination.
From your essay I can see that you are trying to tell the readers that you agree the statement "learning a foreign language should be a compulsory subject at school" and the reasons behind are (not listed in order):
1. several of foreign languages are the one language speakers use the most.
2. it is an advantage of people who acquire those language skills
3. it help people who having the foreign language skill a brighter future (better career path, etc)
4. it help people to broaden their horizon (sorry this is overused phrase so please avoid to put that to your IELTS essay)
5. it help them to go to UK (?) for sightseeing or whatever, learn more about the diversity of culture, history, food and so on.
6. Most of reliable information now is written in English and French books, magazines..., especially medicine books.
Some of them are the main point (or topic sentence) of the paragraph which you better put it at the beginning of the paragraph, while some of them just the supporting statement which is to give evidence to the topic sentence, and some of them are just example which further explain your point to the readers. So I believe if you can have the better arrangement of the above this may help readers a lot on follow your ideas.
For the conclusion, some tutors would suggested to paraphrasing the question again, together the summarize of your paragraphs (i.e. your topic statements).
Hope this may help and please let me know if I was wrong (true, the above may be totally wrong as I'm not the good/qualify writer too).
Hi @ smally01
Thank you so much for your very helpful comments and corrections. I've learnt much from your help.
Thank you!
Hi. Next time, you need to provide the Task question, as it is unclear whether you were writing a discussion essay and give your own opinion or an opinion essay. I may assume you were writing the second option. Therefore you need to illustrate your opinion in your last sentence of introduction.
I also notice your way of using sentence is not really much precise. I am gonna polish one of yours, I hope that helps:
Nowadays, English and Chinese are ... I would write:"These days, the prevalent languages are English and Chinese in which are spoken by over billion people for each one respectively."
Therefore, people who are fluent ... => "Therefore people who obtain fluency in those aforementioned languages will be more advantageous."
They can communicate with their ... => They can readily communicate with global friends to widen their knowledge. In addition, it will facilitate for them to access to the culture, history and cuisines of other countries.
In addition, people good at two or ... => People who are multilingual gain twice as much as monolingual ones.
Grammar:
huge prestigous companies. Your implication of using huge as reputation of a company is incorrect, because I would think you're refering the size of a building.
Also, be more scrupulous in your conclusion next time.