IELTS TASK2:learning to play a music instrument is a waste of time

Task2:Some say that learning to play a music instrument is a waste of time, agree or disagree?

The role of musicians has brought many arguments in a society. One topic of discussion is the amount of time spent on learning musical instruments. Many people claim that it is just a waste of time, I firmly oppose to this statement. In this essay we will be discussing how teaching oneself discipline and gaining self-confidence as a result of learning to play an instrument could be beneficial to an individual.

Learning an instrument is not as easy as it sounds. A person needs commitment and dedication to be successful .Thus, discipline is a key requirement to achieve good results. For instance, learning a guitar cannot be accomplished overnight, it is essential to spend at least two hours daily for your practice. This shows that you have taught to discipline yourself in the aspect of time management.

Being able to play an instrument makes you feel better about yourself and it gives you a sense of belongingness. An example is heard from stories of most talent show candidates like America's Got Talent. In real life they are struggling their way for survival and they feel unworthy of themselves. But once they are on stage playing an instrument, it is like living a dream for them. This makes them feel special about themselves and thus they have gained self-confidence.

Both aspects shown above clearly proves that learning a musical instrument brings positive results to oneself. Therefore, it is unrightful to claim that time spent on practicing an instrument is wasted. In fact, it is considered as an investment for self-improvement.

I think you have some very good ideas in your essay. However, I feel that some structural features and word choice could be improved.

Your introduction did not capture my attention very well, because it did not seem to inform very much. For me, the lines "The role of musicians has brought many arguments in a society. One topic of discussion is the amount of time spent on learning musical instruments. Many people claim that it is just a waste of time" maybe could be simplified to something along the lines of

"The role of music in our lives has raised many arguments in society, such as the whether time spent practicing/learning musical instruments is a just a waste of time."

or
"Some people claim that learning a musical instrument is a waste of time. However, I argue that..."

It would also be interesting to add in a reason why your opponents believe that learning music instrument would be a waste of time.

Good luck!

What does one learn from playing music?

hi sweetcocoa

thanks for the feedback..I agree, your revision on the introduction is way better than mine..


Yes that would be good.However, when writing for the ielts you don't have that luxury of time. I got this tip from a

great ielts teacher. He mentioned that to save time in argument essays, you should state in the introduction which side do you agree, in
addition you should mention at least two ideas to support the statement. You will then expand both ideas in your body paragraphs.

I believe there are a lot of essay structures out there but do you agree this is the most quick and convenient? I hope anyone can

feedback me on this.

Hi jkjeremy

I don't think I understand your question entirely. But if your giving me a tip on what to write,
yes you learn a lot such as being creative,sensitive to others,artistic, etc..

I'm giving you a "tip" as to the difference between a winning essay and a losing essay.

Your essay needs to be controlled by insights rather than facts.

This particular essay should focus on exactly the three things you mention above.


There is no "quick and convenient" way to learn how to write an upper-half paper.

Your teacher is wrong about how to write introductions. On a timed essay, you can't afford to repeat a single thing. You simply do not have the minutes to spare.

Read any essay written by any published professional writer. If you can find even one that includes in its introduction a "list of points" that are later repeated, I will send ten dollars (US) to the address of your choice as long as the postage itself doesn't exceed ten dollars. (Blogs and social media posts don't count---I'm talking about The New York Times, etc.)

Please, please, please...if you believe nothing else I say, believe what I wrote above.

jkjeremy
oh my! I may have waisted time practising his tips then. If you don't mind I would like to ask more advice from you..

For a different approach, will this be acceptable:
intro + pro + against + conclusion and my side or should it be
intro + against + pro + pro + conclusion(providing I am for pro side)

I am thankful that we have individuals like you who is willing to mentor beginners like me..thanks for the support.

1. I'm sure he (like every teacher) had some valuable tips. However, you need to beware of any "one-size-fits-all" suggestion. If any of them worked, everyone would be using them. The fact that most people (even native speakers of English) do poorly on standardized writing tests tells you all you need to know.

2. As I said, there's no ONE way to organize ANY essay. What is universally true is this:

a) You must answer the question thoroughly as it is asked.*
b) You must say something unique.
c) You must NOT tell your reader what he already knows.

An essay is scored according to the following criteria (pretty much in this order):

---ORGANIZATION* (I'm NOT necessarily referring to how your paragraphs are arranged. See "a" above.)
---VOCABULARY (which does NOT mean the use of "big" words)
---SYNTAX, including GRAMMAR, PUNCTUATION, and USAGE.

If you insist on a template to use for each paragraph, here's one:

INTRODUCTION: State your opinion on the issue. If you'd like, you might acknowledge other viewpoints here (as someone else mentioned above).

Some regard musical training as a luxury or even a mere hobby. However, its benefits are vast and numerous.

You can write a little more if you'd like. However, I've sat in many reading rooms and you can trust me that on a timed test, the reader expects a very short intro. Often, it just gets skimmed.

Each BODY PARAGRAPH would discuss one of these benefits. Support with facts if you can, but don't overdo it. They're looking to read YOUR work...not an encyclopedia (whatever that is).

Lots of people have been "taught" that a CONCLUSION "repeats the ideas from the introduction." Wrong. Nothing should repeat. Instead, your conclusion needs to do what it says: it draws conclusions about the subject of your essay.

thanks jkjeremy


I got this from the same person as well,he quoted " to get high marks for task response criteria try to state an example from real life

one which nobody can argue

I am having mixed emotions while reading your comments..It is frustrating that I have misunderstood most of the things I studied.
Nevertheless, I think everything is clearer now. I will be uploading another essay, I hope we can see some improvements.
thanks again.please do not stop from giving me tips...

I doubt that you "misunderstood" anything (or at least not "most of the things") that you have studied.

Your confusion is understandable---most students have been taught so much conflicting information that they don't know what the hell to do.

Regardless, I'm glad to help in any way I can.

I apologize for having caused "mixed emotions" on your part. Still, I've been around long enough to know how this game works.

As for using examples, of course you should use examples where appropriate and IF they don't take up too much space. However, one of the top essay killers is the failure on the part of the writer to explain the relevance of the examples. (If the reader sees your examples and wonders, "So what?," then you have a problem.)

Perhaps part of the problem (and this goes for my SAT, GRE, and AP students, too) is the overuse and/or misuse of the term "example." A better way to think of "examples" is to view them as FACTS or points of EVIDENCE.

You need to remember that, above all else, IELTS is a test of your writing fluency. It is not a history or literature test.

gmad:

I have an assignment for you. It'll take between 20 and 40 minutes. Let me know if you'd like to try it.

Perhaps we could communicate via email as I don't wish to hog up this entire forum. (Of course, if you'd prefer and if no one minds, we can just correspond here.)