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A Legal Trade in Ivory Would Wipe Out Elephants, Study Finds



Fitri12 28 / 50  
Sep 17, 2016   #1
The decision-making mechanism is a proposed process by Namibia, Zimbabwe, and South Africa; those nations that support the legalization of ivory trade. It is about collecting ivory from existing government stockpiles of seized illegal ivory, natural elephant deaths, elephant culls, and intentional elephant hunts. It is believed that this process is able to meet the demand for elephant ivory without causing extinction. However, a study finds that the demand for ivory is far greater than the amount of ivory that can be harvested sustainably.

"There is no way to harvest sufficient ivory in a controlled way that won't drive elephant populations to extinctions," says Phyllis Lee, one of the study's authors and a researcher at the University of Stirling in the United Kingdom. His argument is based on his research which used data from elephants in Amboseli, Kenya, to determine how many could be killed for their ivory before it started to negatively affect the population.

In conclusion, the life of elephants is in danger and it is the responsibility of everyone to figure out how to save them from extinction.

Source: news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/09/wildlife-legal-ivory-trade-not-sustainable-study/

RAY93 35 / 166  
Sep 18, 2016   #2
The decision-making mechanism is a proposed process ...

=the decision-making mechanism is a process proposal from Namibia, Zimbabwe, and South Africa; nations support the legalization of ivory trade
=the decision-making mechanism is proposed by......... ; nations support the legalization of ivory trade


It is believed that these processesisare able

at first, you may need to deliver the phenomenon of ivory trading before directly write down about the process or the nations that agree with that. it is about the flow of reading and also writing. you need to bridge or gibe background information first or may be change the sequence of the facts you want to restate on our summary. the first paragraph need to be revise.

however, in the second paragraph, your writing became strong with a quotation you inserted.the explanation about who said it also nice so that this paragraph become communicative and fully informative.


I believe that you have an adequate skill in writing, you only need to practice more. concern about tenses, the sentence completion, some basic grammatical rules that usually hard to control, and also make it sure you vary your writing style in composing sentences so your works will become superb to read and to understand. keep study and good luck


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