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orkhan 12 / 19  
Mar 15, 2013   #1
This table illustrates the level of imprisonment in Great Britain,Australia,New Zealand,US and Canada over the period of 50 years.

In Great Britain the number of prisoners rose steadily from 30000 in 1930 to 80000 in 1980.However,the figures fluctuated in Australia and hit the lowest point in 1950 with around 47000 and reached a peak in 1970 with 70000 prisoners.Similarly,the amount of prisoners variated in New Zealand over the same period of years.In addition ,the figures almost double decreased from around 10000 in 1930 to nearly 50000 in 1950.Since 1950,it began to increase steadily in contrast to Australia.The prison population in US and Canada have also fluctuated over the same period of time.Generally, it has shown downward trend in US between 1940 and 1970,then the figures has risen dramatically to 130000 in 1980,which was the highest point among these countries.In comparison with US,Canada managed to keep downward trend relatively from 120000 in 1930 to 90000 in 1980.

Overall,there is a downward tendency in number of prisoners in above countries ,except US.Although we have to consider the amount of population, this indicator has shown sudden and sharp increase at the end of the period in US,this in turn gives danger signs for future.

csga14 2 / 6 2  
Mar 15, 2013   #2
For your information you have toput a space after every comma, dot, etc...

For instance instead of these:
"...in 1970 with 70000 prisoners.Similarly,the amount of prisoners... "
"...period of years.In addition ,the figures..."

You shoudl write:
"...in 1970 with 70000 prisoners. Similarly, the amount of prisoners... "
"...period of years. In addition, the figures..."

"of the period in US,this in turn gives danger"
"in turn" is not correct here.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Mar 24, 2013   #3
I find your structure slightly deviate from the recommended one. Following is a link which gives you the recommendations for this task (it's by British Council) and hope it would help you with further improving your writing for this task; you write well and hope this helps you to improve more :)

Good luck!

Home / Writing Feedback / THE LEVEL OF IMPRISONMENT in UK, Australia, NZ, US and Canada (IELTS GRAPH)
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