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IELTS Task 1: Different qualification level in Australia


SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
May 8, 2014   #1
The bar chart illustrates the post-school qualification level on both genders in Australia during a particular period in 1999.

Overall, the number of males was more qualified in vocational diploma, post-graduated diploma and master degree, while undergraduate and bachelor women in Australia showed the reverse.

As per the bar chart, more than 90% males having vocational diploma education were skillful than that of the female counterpart in the same part. By comparison with undergraduate diploma males being accounted 40%, such trend doubled in full loan of qualification. Coming second highest, the post graduate male gained 70%, it was 10 % higher in comparison with males in master degree which showed 60%. Also, males in bachelor degree showed 45% in the level of qualification.

Fast forward to the female trend, female percentage varied markedly, while undergraduate diploma female reckoned 70 %of the qualification could be stood as similar as the percentage in post graduate diploma in the male's trend. However, the qualification level of the bachelor degree woman, 50%, defeated the males counterpart by around 10 % higher. While master degree woman being accounted 40% qualification,

it was higher than post graduate and skill diploma which accounted 30% and 10% respectively.




here2study 6 / 14  
May 9, 2014   #2
Overall Good writing..
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
May 9, 2014   #3
female percentage varied markedly, while undergraduate diploma female reckoned 70 %of the qualification could be stood as similar as the percentage in post graduate diploma in the male's trend.

Don't you think this sentence is too long? If you have a long sentence, it will affect the flow of the sentence.

While master degree woman being accounted 40% qualification,

Don't you think this has a problem with a subject-verb agreement? I can't even find the predicate ;D

Your exam is around the corner. Simple grammar should be error-free
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
May 9, 2014   #4
The bar chart illustrates the post-school qualification level on both genders in Australia during a particular period in 1999.

Very good introduction :)

Overall, the number of males was more qualified in vocational diploma, post-graduated diploma and master degree, while undergraduate and bachelor women in Australia showed the reverse.

Overall, there had been more number of men who were qualified in Vocational Diploma, Post-graduated Diploma and Master's Degree in contrast to the number of women who had similar qualifications. More number of women than men have gained qualifications in Undergraduate Diplomas and Bachelors Degrees.


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