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Life: How Barbershop can Keep men Healthy


grintdevereaux30 9 / 6 2  
Aug 16, 2016   #1
Joseph Ravenell saw the opportunity for health equity in barbershop. For black men, barbershop is not only the place that they can cut their hair or beard trimmed, but also a place go for a friendship, soladarity and solace. A place that where people can get away from their stress which was happen with company problem, work assigment, etc. Barbershop is also place about loyalty and trust. In every visiting a barbershop, people will be did a talk in conversation. This conversation is the essence of the black barbershop.

Many people go to their favorite barbershop to be relax by doing a chit-chat with the other visitors, aven with the barber also. The people in the barbershop always welcome, they would be talk about politics, sports, music, news and many more. But the most important thing is about health. Many time they did a conversation about health so lengthy and deep. they will recommend about salt on diet, to eat less fried foods, stop smoking and reducing stress.

Especially for the black men, most of them talk about the high blood pressure. Because almost 40% of black men have a high blood pressure disease. Sometimes people better go to the barbershop then the doctor or pharmacist. Because they can give some recommendation to each other in the barbershop. Joseph Ravenell also said in his speech that "lots of black men trust their barbers more than they trust their doctors".

Summarized from TED: How Barbershop can Keep men Healthy - Joseph Ravenell

azmi23 17 / 28 3  
Aug 16, 2016   #2
hello, here are my suggestions.

For black men, barbershop is not only the only place that they can cut

but also a place to go for a friendship, solai darity and solace.

A place that where people can get away from their stress which was happenedwithfrom company problem, work assigment, etc.

Many people go to their favou rite barbershop to be relax by doing a chit-chat with the other visitors,
Wolf Larsen - / 127 47  
Aug 16, 2016   #3
Hello grintdevereaux30

Some of the sentences in your text sound a bit awkward. I corrected them as follows:

is not only the place [...] where they can have their hair trimmed, but also...
A place that [..] where people can get away from all the stress, triggered by those problems that that they experience at work.
is also a place [...] where attendees learn about loyalty and trust.
In every visiting a barbershop [...]While at a barbershop, people will indulge in holding conversations with each other.
to be relax... with the others... aven [...]and...
The people [...] When at a barbershop, visitors are in the position to talk at length on the subjects of politics...
But [...] However, the most commonly discussed topics are health-related.
Many time [...] While getting their haircuts, people like to talk about what they eat and about what accounts for the pathway towards healthiness.
Especially for the black men [...] Black men tend to complain about having a high blood pressure, which is explainable given the relevant statistical data.
Sometimes people [...] It is a commonplace practice among many people to end up going to see a doctor or pharmacist after they have been to a barbershop.

I hope this will help. Regards.
justivy03 - / 2,370 607  
Aug 16, 2016   #4
Hi Muhammad, below are my thoughts on your essay;

- but also a place to go for a friendship,
- soli darity and solace.
- A place that where people can
- get away from their stress which was happened with company problem,
- work assign ment, etc.
- Barbershop is also a place about
- In every visiting a barbershop,
- people will be did a talk inhave conversations .

- barbershop to be relax by doing a
- chit-chat with the other visitors, aveneven with the barber also.
- The people in the barbershop always welcome visitors ,
- they would be talk about
- But theThe most important thing is about health.
- ManyMost of the time, they
- didwill have a conversation
- about in depth health so lengthy and deep they will

There you have it Muhammad, I hope the above remarks helped in your revision.


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