Life has become more stressful. As a result, stress-related illnesses are on the increase

stress-based problems are common nowadays

In today modern world, as people are under high pressure from work and life, the number of residents suffering from stress-based disorders has become increasingly higher. In this essay, some negative effects would be put forward before some feasible methods are proposed in order to combat stress-related problems.

There are several serious problems resulting from stress. First and foremost, the increase in level of stress would lead to various mental disorders. Obviously, in the competitive environment, people would have a fast-paced life, in which workers have to work for extended hours, and students have to handle huge workload at school. Consequently, people would prone to experience a sense of depression leading to pessimistic attitudes towards life. Moreover, stress-related issues may severely impact on the spiritual life of society since the frustration from work may prevent them from enjoying other activities and interacting with each other.

To deal with the aforementioned problem, some people suggest that national authorities may cut down the amount of working time so that people could allocate more time for recreational activities to give vent into frustration after work; therefore, their mental well-being could be uplifted. In addition, the government may hold some campaigns to emphasise more on striking a balance between work and life in order to live life to the fullest.

In conclusion, various measures could be taken to address the stress-based problems which is drawn public attention these days.

@phuong1604
Hey, dear. Welcome here. I hope that you find the feedback you are looking for in this forum.

First and foremost, while I appreciate how you tried to make the first paragraph a lot more compact (despite putting a lot of information into this portion), I think that you could have still opted to omit certain fillers. For instance, the word "some" is often utilized to indicate a dedicated quantity that one is unsure of. In a lot of instances, such as in your first paragraph, it can be left behind without affecting much of the content.

Furthermore, the latter portions of your essay require a bit more of a tangible, concrete examples are required to showcase that your essay has a lot more grounding than others. If you are able to do this, you'll have a more intensive focus in your writing, letting you focus a lot more on developing more critical insights for your writing.