Hello!
I have just completed my pieces of writing but don't have anyone to help me out. Hope that you guys can help me from structure and grammer perspectives. Since it is a 30-minute test, I did not do any modificatons by now and hope that you could give a mark (out of 30).
Thanks so much.
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Within the last few generations, there has been an unprecedented development of society which made a drastic change in daily life. It is convenient to surf the Internet and to travel all over the world nowadays, not to mention colossal transformations of life in China. Personally speaking, life today is more convenient and comfortable than it was when my grandparents were children.
First of all, it is evident that a few decades ago, there was no access to the Internet or computers until 1980s. My grandparents do not have a good command of computers , while I am born in the Internet era, which gives me a fantastic oppotunity to learn what is happening all over the world and to make relationship with different people through social medias.
What's more, it is difficult to obscure the fact that people are more capable of travelling around the world whenever they want for the sake of the online tickets selling. Thanks to this improvement, we are able to go outside to meet different people, to make acquitances and broaden our horizons to discover the ideal lifestyles.
Last but not least, the world has witnessed the great changes of China since 1980s, which virtually improved the standards of people's life. According to the memory of my grandpa, it was a daydream to have meat when he was a child and children could be happy for several days after eating a candy owing to planning-economy. In 1980s, there was a famous reform which transformed people's life, so that I can purchase whatever I love from the market recently.
To conclude, there is no doubt that living today is easier that it was in the past , especially in a developng country, where a reform changes our lives in many aspects, such as computers and travelling and so on.
I have just completed my pieces of writing but don't have anyone to help me out. Hope that you guys can help me from structure and grammer perspectives. Since it is a 30-minute test, I did not do any modificatons by now and hope that you could give a mark (out of 30).
Thanks so much.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Within the last few generations, there has been an unprecedented development of society which made a drastic change in daily life. It is convenient to surf the Internet and to travel all over the world nowadays, not to mention colossal transformations of life in China. Personally speaking, life today is more convenient and comfortable than it was when my grandparents were children.
First of all, it is evident that a few decades ago, there was no access to the Internet or computers until 1980s. My grandparents do not have a good command of computers , while I am born in the Internet era, which gives me a fantastic oppotunity to learn what is happening all over the world and to make relationship with different people through social medias.
What's more, it is difficult to obscure the fact that people are more capable of travelling around the world whenever they want for the sake of the online tickets selling. Thanks to this improvement, we are able to go outside to meet different people, to make acquitances and broaden our horizons to discover the ideal lifestyles.
Last but not least, the world has witnessed the great changes of China since 1980s, which virtually improved the standards of people's life. According to the memory of my grandpa, it was a daydream to have meat when he was a child and children could be happy for several days after eating a candy owing to planning-economy. In 1980s, there was a famous reform which transformed people's life, so that I can purchase whatever I love from the market recently.
To conclude, there is no doubt that living today is easier that it was in the past , especially in a developng country, where a reform changes our lives in many aspects, such as computers and travelling and so on.