Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


"there is more to life than just reality TV shows" -Argumentative Paper on Television



kangi 1 / -  
Dec 3, 2010   #1
Hi! It's short 5 paragraph paper to argue for bad and good of television. I was against TV just because i have more to write. haha Help me revising. Thank you

In the world that we live in, there are various forms of communication methods used worldwide. TV is widely known and mostly used by anyone of any age for our benefits. It informs us with news, weather, and anything we need we can receive information within click of a button. T.V is meant to be good for most people, but there are times that it could be used against us and do us more harm than good. For example, T.V changes our lives dramatically, it affects behaviors, affects physical health, and it wastes everyone's time.

T.V is well known for influencing our behaviors and our minds not only adults but especially on our children's. Indeed, children or teenagers are the most vulnerable objects who are easily affected by bad programs. Moreover, there are many movies and T.V shows out there right now that includes many sexual materials, violence, and adult language that are definitely not good for our children's growth. In addition, without the supports and supervision of our parents, this can corrupt our kids in many ways in their behavior, relationships, and possibly ruining the life.

After work or dinner, spending rest of the evening parked front of the T.V does not help burn calories much at all. In addition, people consuming high calorie snacks during T.V time can cause health problems in the long run. It's also been a problem that more and more of younger generation consuming too many hours T.V causes obesity, and obesity has been proven to be the one of leading causes of death in the United States.

Lastly, watching T.V for certain period of time can be relaxing, help you relieve stress from work and home. Well, this is where the problem starts. Once people get hooked on T.V, watching countless hours' front of the T.V is just waste of time. Furthermore, just realizing that people had been watching commercials half of the time most definitely makes you realizes its waste of time. They just might discover there's more to life than what's happening on the latest reality show. You can bet when people come to the end of their life they don't regret not having watched more T.V

In sum, T.V is most important source of communication we have nowadays. Many people had gain from watching TV but in my opinion, there is more loss to watching T.V than what we can gain from it. T.V is capable of changing our behaviors, mislead our children into wrong path, and affect our health in many ways. If only we learn to consider moderate usage of television can help many people with their health, to have better life, and help many people realize that there is more to life than just reality T.V shows and having hobbies and play sports also help fulfill our lives.

Cloud_Tek9 - / 12  
Dec 3, 2010   #2
So the outline of your paper is:
Introduction: points to why it is bad to watch TV
Body 1: the damage to our children
Body 2: obesity
Body 3: waste of time
Conclusion: go over points to why TV is bad for us

First you need to take out the communication part because you don't need it. Totally unnecessary. If you want to start of with pointing out whats good about TV; just say it. Like: Television informs us with the news, the weather, but there is the down side of television that doesn't get too much TV time (if you know what I mean). -haha something like that; not jk not like that but in that continent

Also you need to have more analysis in your body and less of "well-known". These terms usually imply you know this and we won't go into it but you have to remember that the reader might not know and so more detail.

Your conclusion should be much stronger. Just reiterate all the points as to why TV is bad. And with the communication thing, you definitely don't need it in this paper


Home / Writing Feedback / "there is more to life than just reality TV shows" -Argumentative Paper on Television
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳