Hi, this my essay for a scholarship the essay prompt is the following:
If you were a super hero, what would your super power be? How would you use that power and why? (500 words*)
Can someone help me revise it grammatically or how I can answer the question better?
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Super heroism can be summed up by men in tights fighting crime and often portrayed, strangely enough, as idyllic. I like to see super heroes as a mock to society, a sort of jest on man kind, as if this single, unique figure with extraordinary powers can solve our day-to-day problems with special flying abilities or laser vision. Oh! If Spiderman could save New York City by climbing on walls and making giant cobwebs, surely things like 9/11 wouldn't happen...right? As incredible as having super powers may be, I'd say there are very few abilities introduced by DC Comics which would make a difference in the real world.
Nothing is super about superheroes. They dress in funny suits. They flaunt around their powers. They impress. They don't solve problems. In real life, there is no fighter of good to help us from our issues. Because in reality the real danger in our lives is ourselves; we're these little bundles of emotion that constantly change the way we perform, the way we behave, the way we live. If I were a super hero, my special ability would be reading emotions and absorbing them. I'd grab onto all the negative feelings that build up in the human soul and filter them, leaving only the positive emotions. I would be, what I would like to call, an Empath.
As a student coming from a competitive academic society, I suppose I should have chosen to be telepathic instead so I could know the answers to tests or what my teachers are thinking. So while sucking someone's emotions may seem uncanny and not very useful, I will heartily argue that it would be much more beneficial than knowing the answers on a test.
You see, we are beings of complex feelings and unfortunately, most of them are negative. We feel anguish, vengeance, hatred, and most of all sadness. We start wars based on what we feel. But we produce positive contributions based on our feelings too. We learn better based on how high our confidence is. We function on our emotions and our emotions have highs and lows. But what if they could be channeled? What if the pain over a failure could be mended, if the umbrage against another could be cleansed, if the human soul could be healed, would the world be a better place?
If the hatred of racism could be wiped away, if the anger that lies in war could be placed to rest, if the world could be relieved of pent up resentments, could that not make us all progress as a people, as human beings? I believe so. The world is a terrible fiasco because of what we feel and because of how we feel it. I'd help those in pain and cure those who inflict pain. To put an end to resentment and insecurity, I'd use that empathetic ability. I'd shed light on people's past and brighten their future ï one person at a time.
Greetings!
You've given your response to the question an interesting twist--very good!
There is little I would change, except this sentence:
Super heroism can be summed up by men in tights fighting crime and often portrayed, strangely enough, as idyllic. - I'm not sure that "idyllic" is really the right word here. It means something which is serene or charmingly simple, or even rustic; for example, "an idyllic spot for a picnic." You may have the word "idyll" confused with "idol." You might want to find another word.
Good job!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
