The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary
uk goods on the roads
The line graph below depicts the different modes of transportation used by the country United Kingdom during the period of 1974 to 2002 for transporting the commodities by using road, water,rail and pipeline.
Overall it is seen that large share of their goods were transported through road transportation during this years and only less amount of goods were transported through pipelines.
During the year 1974 around 70 million tones of goods were transported using road transportation and it is shown its slightly increasing through out the year except 1982 and in between 1990's and 1994 after that it is showing a hike and it reaches close to 100 million tones. Eventhough the least amount of commodities are transported through pipeline but it is showing a continuous increment throughout the year and in the year 2002 it is increased from least amount to above 20 million tonnes.
Also it is clear from the line diagram that close to 40 million tonnes of goods in U.K. are transported by water and railways. Water transportation shows around 60 million tonnes were transported by them and they raised their share to abound 60 by the year 2002. While railways are fluctuating up and down during this periods but the railways never come up above 40 till 2000 and by 2002 it's showing a slight improvement and it comes up slightly above 40.
. . . used by the
country United Kingdom . . .
. . . during
the period of 1974 to 2002 for . . .
. . . during
this these years . . .
the year 1974 around . . .
. . . and it is shown
its it slightly increasing increased through out throughout the year except 1982 and in between 1990's . . . Eventhough Even though the least . . .
. . . and in
the year 2002 it is increased from the least amount to a . . .
. . . of goods in
U.K. the UK are were . . .
. . . up and down during
this these periods but the railways never come came up above . . .
Thanks for correcting my essay. If I am writing this way in my ielts how much I can score for writing part? My ielts is scheduled for 18th of March ?
[Contributor] - / 7,699 2054
Sajeemaka, since you wrote 228 words, you were able to increase your LR and GRA scores for this essay. This helped to improve the overall score even though the TA was missing some elements from the chart in your presentation. That missing element is the year when the rail and water transportation of commodities overlapped. That happened in 1979, so the year should have been indicated in the presentation of the information. Never omit to use the dates provided when given because these are small, but important parts of the presentation. It greatly increases the chances for an improved score. Overall though, I believe you did just enough to score a maximum of 6 with this essay. That score can further be improved once your presentation goes beyond the obvious and shows more analytical skills in your consideration of the presented graph information.
Hi Sajee, In my vantage point, you have needed a few improvements for finalizing your writing.
Firstly, I only wanna remind you that you are supposed to write at least three sentences in every paragraph. Therefore, you should merge the first and second paragraph for meeting the requirement. Following this, your overview required a little development. When you wanna get a high score, you should make that more meaningful and use words which meet the meaning in reality. For example, you can write like this below.
Overall, it is important to note that the transportation through the road had always become the first choice for transporting the commodities. Meanwhile, the lowest goods had been delivered by citizens of UK with using pipeline track.
Turning to your body paragraph, honestly your sentences were less impressive. If you wanna the high score, you have to present comparison directly. You seemed to play safely. Those seemed listing data and not to compare. Keep in your mind that your job in writing task 1 is to compare figures, not to describe the data separately. Besides that, your way to display the number was not various. You can convert your information to the numbers of comparison such as "a half".
Hopefully, those suggestions can help you to enhance your score.
I have already read your entire essay, i just suggest you to group the paragraph of your overview in your introduction paragraph in case that you wrote your overview before your body paragraphs. Moving to your body paragraph, it should be better if you combine to compare the figure of road and pipeline instead of just straightly explain merely the number of each figures. In second body paragraph, you actually are able to elucidate an overlap between water and rail number in 1978 because this a very striking point. Please notice your words spelling and grammar using.
hope it helps you