IELTS TASK 1 - "Line graph about recruitment of teacher"

first-year English-language teachers with regular teaching jobs

The line graph compares proportion of first-year English-language teachers and French-language teachers enrolled in Ontario between 2001 and 2007.
Overall, the percentage of English-language teachers recruited was lower and fell gradually over the period shown.

In 2001, 70% of English-language teachers had a regular job, which is the same as French-language teachers. The proportion of English-language teachers decreased significantly to 40% in 2003, while the figures for French-language teachers dipped in 2002 then returned to nearly 70% in 2003.

There was a slight climb of 5% in the proportion of teachers teaching French recruited in 2005. This figure then declined gradually and hit a low of nearly 30% in 2007.From 2003, the percentage of French-language teachers enrolled remained fairly stable at around 70%, and reached a peak at 75% in 2007.

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The summary statement misrepresents the task purpose. You referred the data in the graph as being in reference to enrolled teachers for 2 language groups. The original indication is for the rate of hiring / recruitment of teachers. Enrollment is different from hiring. The word meaning does not support the original prompt. It has altered the task restatement accuracy and no longer suits the ouginal presentation. It has failed to achieve paraphrasing expectations. The overall analysis is incorrect mostly due to the inability of the writer to properly rephrase the supplied information. Take for instance the following reference:


The graph, as per image guidelines. explains that the end measurement, by graduation year, shows how many teachers were hired as regulars. So there is a clear misunderstanding of the presentation data through the writers interpretation. So the score will be low due to the problematic comprehension and restatement skills of the exam taker.

introduction:
- compares the proportion
- I suppose that you used the wrong verb "enrolled" Therefore, it made your introduction digressive So I think that enrolled -> recruited because as far as I know "enrol for" is to put yourself or someone to become a member to take a certain course.

@thaonhilak
this essay has only reached 131 words so you should try to expand it by adding more sentences into it or trying to rephrase some of them.

In your summary, you need to overview two figures not one