The long term bond with an employer

Some people work for the same organization all their working life

Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion..

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Works fills a large part of our life. People cannot live properly without working. Therefore, the choice we make in our career has a huge impact on ourselves. Some people think it is best to be loyal to one company while others think being employees of many companies is more beneficial. I think the answer depends on the worker's situation.

Working for only one company throughout thee working life indeed has some benefits. First, the likelihood of promotion is higher. When working for an organization long enough, our familiarity to its rules and regulations increase, which helps us improving to a higher standard. Besides, we can also benefit from long-term relationships with fellow workers, many of whom may be of much help for us in life. This choice is suitable to those who prefer safety in their career.

In contrast, working for different organisations is far more adventurous which only suits to people who love challenges or want to find out a better chance. This is positive in that the worker may switch jobs until finding the most suited one. It is also an opportunity for us to broaden our mind by interacting with different types of working environment, which also helps us to be more adaptable.

In conclusion, whether which is true depends on the current situation of the worker. It is better to be loyal if you have already found the most suited job but it is wiser to work for different organisations to discover it if not any has been found.

I am a beginner, please give me some feedbacks

I think there are several mistakes in your essay regarding grammar. 'Help sb do sth or help sb to do sth" so the phrase:' helps us improving to higher standard' is wrong

You haven't really discussed the essay based on the required format. Simply writing 254 words, which is over the minimum word count, does not really help you get a better score. You should be looking at the discussion requirements of the essay and delivering the paragraph discussion based on the indicated discussion format. In this case, the discussion format should use 3 paragraph discussion representations composed of:

Reasoning 1: Some people work for the same organization all their working life.
Reasoning 2: Others think that it is better to work for different organisations
Reasoning 3: Personal point of view

Always outline the discussion points in a manner similar to what I did above before you start outlining your essay. That way you will see exactly how you should be discussing the essay and how many paragraphs you should be presenting overall. In this case, the complete discussion will cover 5 fully developed paragraph presentations.

Your current presentation is focused on discussing only your personal opinion. This happened because you did not really see how the discussion was supposed to go. That is why it is important to outline your essay before you start discussing. At least figure out what format you have to use so that you can properly develop your reasoning paragraphs using relevant reasons.

I suggest that you learn how to approach the different essay formats for the Task 2 essay before you launch into another practice essay. That way you will have a backgrounder on how to approach the various discussion topics. You can use the samples at this forum. Since advice on how to correct mistakes are given in the thread, you will be able to learn how to properly approach the discussion topics without having to make mistakes of your own first.