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Lots of teenagers today would rather socialize online than communicate in person

qnhuluong 1 / -  
Sep 21, 2021   #1

Many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person

In contemporary time, researchers have found that lots of teenagers in the modern world would rather socialize online than communicate in person. This issue creates tons of consequences for youngster all over the world. However, any difficult problems always have solutions if we make enough efforts. This issue will be discussed in this essay along with some possible solutions that may be implemented to cope with the problem.

The first serious consequence caused by communicating through Internet is to ruin your eyes. In modern days, most of the youth, especially ones coming from developed countries are digital natives, so for that logic, theirs eyes were affected harmfully since they were little. There are so many evidences to prove this problem. For example, it is easy to see that nearly 90% students in every primary school in Vietnam have to wear glasses, due to the fact that their focal length is much shorter than normal ones. The next obstacle is the high rate in autistic adolescent due to not meeting people in person. The reason being that youngster wasting their time on chatting with friends on social media such as Facebook, Instagram, etc. , so for this reason, they just have a small round of friends and do not know how to express their ideas in real life. For instance, in recent days, there is numerous newspaper writing about using Internet too much make people become crazy and autistic.

However, fortunately, we can solve this issue by making enough efforts. Parents should not allow their children using smart phones when they are too young, or cut off the amount of time for children to socializing through Internet. Besides that, it is better if schools organize outdoor activities for their students. Moreover, government need to heavily taxes on game company for the purpose of reducing the introduce of new games.

In conclusion, there is big trouble facing people all over the world by virtue of socializing online. Nevertheless, it is absolutely possible to iron out this issue.
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Sep 22, 2021   #2
In contemporary tim

in the modern world

Repetitive word meaning. Both refer to the 21st century. Use one reference only. There is no need to say it twice.


Non-academic word choice. Use formal academic words only.

youngster all over the world

Plural form of youngster should be used since "all over the world" is a plural phrase.

any difficult problems always have solutions

The question was" what are the reasons for this ?" The writer did not respond to the question.

some possible solutions

Again, this is not the correct response to the query" how can they be encouraged to meet in person?"

* The writer failed to create a proper thesis statement both times.


Not people. Just the youth. Do not change the topic focus.

iron out this issue

What issue ?

Parents should not allow

This does not explain how teenagers can be encouraged tomeet in puson than online.

The summary conclusion does not properly recap the previous discussion points. The essay has failed to address the task properly.

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