"Luck is very important factor to succeed" - toefl ibt

When people succeed, it is because od hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success.

I don't agree that people succeed only because of working hard. Luck is very important factor that can change one's life in positive of negative way. Everyone knows about the statement: "in the right place at the right time". It is very common when people get something because of destiny, only because they were at the specific place at the specific time.

First of all, it happens a lot when person works really hard, puts great effort into his or her job, and don't see any positive changes. Then one starts to think about what he or she is doing wrong, but may be a person just need a little bit of fortune. In many situations the core of the problem is not in this person's ability to work, but in his or her luck.

Second, luck is usually accompanies hard work. If people are not paying attention to their work then they are least likely to succeed. They can get ahead accidentally, but the probability of this happening is really low. Otherwise, if people are working a lot and put a lot of effort into their job, they will eventually succeed, but fortune will make it happen sooner.

Third, I think that luck forces people to work, to persevere. For example, when I did a term paper in sociology class, which required a very broad research, I accidentally discovered that my mother is very interested in this field and could help me. Moreover, I started to communicate with her closer than before, which is one of the advantages of working together.

All in all, I can say that ten percent of success is luck and other ninety percents are hard working.

ainash

After reading your essay, I understand why no one has made response. Although my English writing is not really good, I would give you some advice and comments. Actually, I believe that you could write better if you were more careful.

Firstly, could you explain the question of your essay clearer? We may understand what it means but it is hard to believe that it is the question of a formal essay.

Secondly, I think that you should review the organization of an essay in many books such as: Barron , Delta Key, or Longman books. You are likely to know that an essay includes three parts: introduction, body, and conclusion, but you seem not to know how to write each parts. In addition, your ideas - sentences are incoherent and unconnected. You can feel this when reading your introduction.

EF_Simone gave me a good idea to make coherence that is asking the question 'why?' or 'How?' when you make statements.

Finally, you also made a lot of grammar mistakes as well as errors relating to use of words. In addition, you should keep in mind that in a formal essay we do not use contraction, such as 'don't', 'can't', 'they're', and so on. ( can't -> cannot).

...