a machine that many people,including myself,are dependent on is....

A Lap Top
One machine that many people, including myself, are dependent on is a laptop. The first reason is its size. It is small and portable enough for us to bring everywhere and work on at any time. That helps us a lot. Since we live in the age of technology, people must get everything done at the fastest speed and the laptop is a perfect machine that is satisfied by people. Indeed, it is convenient not only for its portability but also for its various functions. For example, by using the laptop, you can work without going to the office, update information and events that are taking place in the world, or also watch movies, and enjoy music. Furthermore, the laptop can be your electronic diary. Due to a security system, you can upload and keep your own pictures, write your diary, and make some private plans which no one can see or read without your permission. In conclusion, the portability and useful functions of a laptop make it an essential tool for everybody.

THERE IS MISTAKES IN YOUR WRITING, KINDLY WRITE INSTEAD OF BRING WRITE TAKE
AND WORK ON AT ANY TIME YOU CAN WRITE USE ANY TIME.

Niraj, We have asked you repeatedly, kindly STOP SHOUTING at everybody. Do not, repeat, do not type your comments in all capital letters.

Kutie_9x, this is a very coherent paragraph, but I wonder for what purpose you have written it. You've posted it under "graduate admissions essays," which can't be right. I'll move it, but please give more information about why you are writing and what sort of help you want to receive.

oh,sorry.this is the first time i posted a paragraph on this forum, so i dont know about the rules.i am so sorry.This is my assignment in a writing class.I want to make sure that it is ok enough.

Whether or not it is okay enough depends what the instructions were, what grade level you are writing for, how harshly your teacher marks, etc. If you want useful feedback, you are going to have to give us some background about the nature of the assignment, preferably including the full prompt you are responding to.